Sam  0:00

Bugs. It had to be bugs. The two remaining halflings crouch back to back, raising their weapons high against this seemingly never ending torrent of glowing creatures. Their companion lies on the ground unmoving, not forgotten, but there’s nothing to be done. Not while the bugs keep coming, and all at once, the lull in combat is over. The beetle pounces on them, it’s jaws closing on the leader’s forearm. He cries out, his sword glances off his exoskeleton, unable to find a spot between the plates while he’s nearly blinded by the pain. With a sudden thud, a tiny stone cracks into the beetles head and the giant insect falls limp to the side. The leader looks over at his companion clutching his injured arm close to his body to try to staunch the bleeding and keep his sword arm free. He looks over just in time to see two of the beetles drive his would-be savior to the ground. She doesn’t scream though. As the pincers rip her to pieces, she never screams. The injured leader doesn’t stop to take a breath. He doesn’t even set his feet. He hurls himself, shortsword first at the beetles as they tear into his last remaining companion, swinging wildly, blind with desperate rage and the knowledge that no help is coming. The halfling chokes out a laugh. Perhaps they’ve made a dent in these horrible, glowing beasts’ numbers. Perhaps they’ve made an opening for whoever comes next. His eyes close. Quiet fills the chamber. Welcome to Pod Against the Machine.

Sam  2:02

Welcome back to Pod Against the Machine, the first podcast ever to be mentioned on this podcast. How’s everyone feeling tonight?

Izzy  2:12

All preparing to go for a swim…physically emotionally. Other ways you can prepare/

Zak 2:15

I am ready for the dark, soggy Night of the Soul.

Gero  2:25

I’m feeling worried about picking a character with a metal arm and only plus 2 to a swim check.

Izzy  2:32

Floating metal?

Jeff  2:34

Oh, for sure. It probably actually helps, it’s buoyant. The good news is when I take my armor off, I only have a minus one to swim.

Zak  2:44


Izzy  2:46

I think Kera can drag most of us to shore, although also without armor would be better.

Zak  2:52

I mean, we do have water breathing, what’s to say we don’t just you know Virginia Woolf our pockets full of stones and walk across the bottom of the terrible turn of expression.

Jeff 2:58

The thought has crossed my mind.

Sam  3:07

I believe you can with 10 pounds of equipment just basically sink to the bottom and walk.

Izzy  3:13

Then we should be good to go.

Jeff 3:15

Then, yeah. I’ll keep my chain shirt on.


Sam  3:19

Before we get moving, why don’t you all remind everyone your names and what the names of your characters are? Because we’re only one episode in.

Izzy  3:29

I feel like Jeff was first last time.

Sam 3:31

Oh forever first.

Gero 3:33

Yeah, it’s kind of Yeah, I was waiting for us to go in the same order.

Jeff  3:38

Didn’t even see my nose goes. That’s fine. Yes, as has been hinted, I am Jeff. And I am playing Asher Halekh.

Zak  3:50

I’m Zak, and I’m playing Brixbi Renttail.

Izzy  3:56

I’m Izzy and I’m playing Kera.

Gero  3:59

And I am still Gero and I’m pretty sure I’m still playing Vaargas.

Sam  4:06

And I’m Sam and I’m pretty much only gonna play that gnome from here on out.

Jeff 4:10


Zak 4:12

Knew he was the BBEG.

Izzy 4:14

I was gonna say podcast favorite.

Sam 4:16

He is all things good and bad now.

Jeff  4:21

If he hadn’t dumped his bag open, and I would have assumed that he had Khonnir’s body in it and he was a serial killer.

Sam  4:27

He still may be. So as a little bit of a recap of where we left things off. Everyone rolled into town or woke up in town eight days after the famous torch, the blue flame atop the Black Hill in the town of Torch, that pretty much the entire economy depends on went out inexplicably. Since that went out, a huge portion of the townsfolk have come down with these intractable headaches. And another portion of the townsfolk and adventures from outside have disappeared into a cave under the hill.

Sam  5:23

The Town Council, which is at this point reduced to just one member, the elderly Dorf Dolga Feddert, is offering 4000 gold to any adventurers who can relight the torch and 4000 gold to any adventures who can bring back Khonnir Baine, the missing town councillor, a wizard who everyone depends on to sort of manage relationships with the Technic Leage to manage the town’s water supply, dead or alive. And when we last left our party of would-be heroes, they were about to take a swim in a very, very inviting pool called the Weeping Pond.

Sam  5:55

So without further delay, we join our heroes standing at the shore.

Zak  6:02

So Brixbi has just finished inflating his water wings, on both arms, looks up at the rest of the party. No, but honestly, he’s assessing his gear right now looking for things, kind of throwing small metal gadgets off of his bandolier style sort of pouches he has across his chest, assessing them before kind of tossing them in one of two piles nervously looking at the lake. Does it seem…so the way that the lake or the pond is, does it abut to the base of the mountain? Or is there a cave that we see? Or how does the body of water How is it positioned in respect to the mountain?

Sam 6:57

You can’t see any cave from the surface. There’s sort of a little bit of a rocky outcropping surrounding the Weeping Pond, which puts you lower than all the surrounding land. And above that rocky outcropping, there are some sort of a line of dead trees, a road, and then the Black Hill itself. So you’re, you know, a little ways away from from the hill, but you can see it and since you’re down so low, it looks all the more imposing. The pond does definitely seem to go out under the the cliff face in front of you. But you can’t see any cave from here, but the water is pretty murky and gross.

Zak  (as Brixbi) 7:47

Well, it’s hard to tell what I’m going to need and what I feel comfortable getting wet. But from what we heard earlier, it seems like we should be prepared for nearly anything under there.

Zak 7:58

He scoops up some of the instruments in the keep pile and starts re-attaching them.

Gero  8:09

Vaargas was going to nod over to Asher and say

Gero (as Vaargas)  8:16

I’ve seen people with gear like yours before. Is it going to be okay wet?

Jeff (as Asher)  8:25

Well, I certainly hope so. I can wrap it the best I can in my backpack. And well, I believe luck will be on my side.

Jeff 8:34

He would like to sort of take a peek and look at study the terrain as best as he can, make a knowledge Geography roll to see if he can kind of figure out the best path forward. If that will be possible, maybe a shortest route, the least amount of time in the water. 12 on the dice for a total of 18.

Sam  9:08

With a total of 18 it does, it is really hard to see under the water. But you can sort of figure based on the water going into the cliff or under it that it’s probably going to be here, your underground cave is below there. So if you’re over on that side, you’ll probably be in the water for less time.

Izzy  9:32

Before everyone sort of starts moving, I think Kera will assess the pond and then kind of stop people and be like,

Izzy (as Kera) 9:39

Did people keep talking about this headache? Are any of you doing that whole thing?

Zak  9:48

Sam, do any of us have headaches?

Sam  9:52

No, you feel fine.

Gero  9:55

Vaargas will say that he has been sleeping bad. But he hasn’t exactly had a headache.

Izzy (as Kera)  10:03

Oh, yeah. I mean, me neither. Crazy, crazy stuff. These people, huh? Torch?

Zak (as Brixbi)  10:10

Well, I mean, it’s not the first mention of it right. Yeah. I mean, you’ve heard people have been having headaches. Has this happened before, or is this? I don’t spend much time in Torch.

Izzy (as Kera) 10:25

No, I mean, Dolga said, or my mom said, this is…I guess been pretty bad if she can’t get out of bed. It’s not normal.

Zak (as Brixbi)  10:37

Yeah, I’ve not yet experienced it. But I’m sure that if torch doesn’t have its torch, things don’t function right around here.

Izzy (as Kera)  10:52

Yeah, well, that’s been true so far.

Jeff (as Asher) 10:56

Well, I for one, would like to minimize that…I’ll be honest, I’m a bit flustered and not a fan of the water. We have about six hours to breathe the water and I’d hate to spend one of those hours here talking shop as it were. Perhaps we should just get on with it.

Zak (as Brixbi)  11:20

Well put.

Zak 11:22

Brixbi is going to start attaching his tail blade to his tail. Just kind of attaching the leather straps, tightening it, he’s gonna keep everything else sheathed. Sort of prepare to go into the water.

Izzy  11:41

Yeah, Kera will, I guess pull off some shoes and wade on in.

Sam  11:48

All right, as you’re coming into the water it is going to be a swim check to navigate while you’re down in the water.

Zak  12:00

Ooh, boy. Well, let’s get this out of the way then. 16 on the die for a big 15 for Aqua Brixbi.

Izzy  12:15

A 15 on the die for a 16 for Kera

Gero  12:20

Eight on the die for a 10 for Vaargas

Jeff  12:26

And Asher would like to forego a swim check in favor of trudging along the bottom.

Sam  12:32

Okay, so, Asher is able to trudge along the bottom and everyone else has managed to roll high enough that they are able to control themselves as they sink down into the water and it’s about 45 feet deep. Until you can finally find along this edge, a submerged waterway that’s a narrow sort of five foot long cavern. Let’s see, I’m having some issues with the lighting. Oh, whoa.

Gero  13:18

Oh, I see my three tokens, but I don’t see anything else.

Zak  13:21

Yeah, I see everything.

Izzy 13:23

That’s bold.

Jeff  13:25

[whispering] I see everything.

Sam  13:29

You better not see everything. That’s where my secrets are.

Sam  13:33

All right.

Jeff 13:34

Yep, there’s the tarrasque.

Gero  13:37

Cyber tarrasque.

Sam  13:40

So those of you who can see find yourselves in a dark tunnel, under the…through the stone that is about five feet wide and about seven feet tall. And it seems to meander in and upwards a bit. As you head in. We’re going to edit out this figuring out the lighting business.

Jeff  14:13

I don’t know.

Gero  14:15

Yeah, I think I might have figured out what it is. I think it might be the only pne, or, well Asher wouldn’t have it either, doesn’t have dark vision. So that’s why it’s not.

Jeff  14:25

Oh, yes. Asher has dark vision, my friend.

Gero  14:27

Oh, yeah? Okay, so that would be why I can’t see then. And everybody else can see now.

Sam  14:30

So everybody else can see?

Zak  14:31


Izzy  14:32


Gero  14:33


Sam  14:35


Jeff  14:36

Did you forget to mention that Vaargas has a, for some somehow he woke up this morning with a poppet –

Izzy 14:42

A strangely glowing poppet.

Jeff  14:45

That’s inexplicably shedding light like an Everburning torch.

Gero  14:52

Well it’s fun to have the light spell and not bother to prepare it because you didn’t think you’re going to be in a dark cave.

Zak  15:01

If only we knew we were going to be in a dark cave. I’m sorry. That’s unfair.

Izzy  15:07

Moderately fair.

Jeff  15:09

I mean, at least it’s not the person who threw shade about none of us being prepared for an adventure. That would just be –


Jeff  15:15

Karmically awful.

Zak  15:18

This is true.

Gero  15:20

That would be just horrible if he had said anything like that.

Jeff  15:26

That’s right, your backup character when you die in the dark, will be a cleric who can both heal and cast light.

Zak  15:33

It’s true, a blossoming light cleric. Probably. Yeah, I like that idea.

Izzy  15:39

Carry things to adventure.

Gero  15:40

Yeah, so I guess he’s just doing his best to try to swim in a straight line. But I imagine he’s probably kind of like veering off to the side. And hopefully somebody else notices that.

Izzy  15:52

Follow the sound of my voice!

Gero  15:55

Under the water. Oh, actually, I guess we can talk underwater with that spell.

Zak (as Brixbi)  15:59

True. Mayhaps you shouldn’t go first. Perhaps someone who can see.

Izzy  16:06

I can see. And I can percept.

Sam  16:11

It should be noted that the water that you can breathe in is absolutely disgusting. It tastes nothing like the town’s water. It has this metallic and yet muddy taste. That you know even though you can’t smell underwater, you feel like you could smell it. And it doesn’t smell great.

Zak  16:36

Ah, East Coast tap water. Sorry, half the pod.

Gero  16:42

Vaargas is gonna pull out a length of rope and hold it up and say

Gero (as Vaargas) 16:44

Unfortunately, I don’t have darkvision. If anyone can see can they grab this?

Izzy  17:02

Kera will take the other end.

Gero  17:05

Okay, so he’ll just hang on to his end of that or actually he’ll tie it around his waist so that he can feel what direction she’s pulling in when we start moving again.

Izzy  17:15

Yeah, she’ll do the same and then be very excited.

Izzy (as Kera)  17:20

It’s beginning. We’re such good friends already!

Zak (as Brixbi)  17:24

The ties that bind!

Zak  17:25

Anyway, he comes up behind the other two, he’s third in marching order.

Sam  17:35

All right, and as you are coming up through this narrow passage, the water is getting shallower and shallower and there’s space above the water where you know you can stick your head out and actually breathe air which is a welcome relief though the air in here is dank and smells of mold and vinegar. It’s definitely breathable but it is not pleasant. But it’s better than the water.

Izzy  18:09

Okay, before we go any further if we go further I’m assuming we’re going further I would like to roll a perception check but I will discuss this with a party first.

Izzy (as Kera)  18:16

We should keep going right? Because it doesn’t make sense to go back there.

Zak (as Brixbi)  18:23

This doesn’t seem like a good place to stop

Izzy  18:27

Okay. It’s an 18 on the die plus seven perception…25

Sam  18:39

There appears to be a glowing up ahead a little ways down the tunnel and some sound coming from there, sound like the skittering of little feet

Izzy (as Kera)  18:56

All right, I think there’s probably something up ahead and maybe not huge but also probably not super friendly. Everyone stay safe.

Izzy  19:01

And she will pull out her greatsword and proceed down the waterway. Can, they can like walk right now? They’re good to walk with their feet as opposed to swim?

Sam 19:17

Brixbi’s still probably underwater for a little ways but everybody, everybody else can walk just fine. And then in about 20 feet Brixbi can walk just fine too.

Zak  19:29

Alright Brixbi will take out his rapier when he is able to find purchase for this little toe beans.

Jeff  19:36

And Asher will draw his strange metallic rectangle out of his pack. Trying to shake any excess water off, opens the chamber. A little air out a bit. And readies.

Sam  19:55

And as you emerge from this narrow tunnel, you find yourself in a much wider cave with dampness hanging in the air condensing in to heavy moisture on the slick stone walls. The calm dark waters you’re walking through a winding wind around to the east up north along the stony scarred beach, a five foot high ledge sporting several stalagmites rises to the east, beyond which a low ceiling cave beckons. And mincing about on this on the floor of this little cavern are three oversized glowing beetles, which appear to notice you almost immediately and they look like they’re heading your way. So I’m going to need everyone to roll for initiative.

Izzy  20:45

Yeah, first combat.

Zak  20:52

That’s a dirty 20

Gero  20:56

I have a clean 20, natural 20 on my Norse Foundry Fallen Star die. That is a 22.

Izzy  21:08

That’s a 19 on the die plus five for 24.

Sam  21:16

Wow, these rolls.

Jeff  21:19

Oh, don’t worry. Bringing up the caboose, rolling the natural six on the portal dice from Cozy Gamer dice,, for a total of a 10.

Sam  21:33

Okay, well with little surprise here Kera is up first with that 24.

Izzy  21:41

Yeah, see how far away are these guys? Cool. Okay, so she is going to walk or jog lightly down this little ravine hallway to the closest of the glowing beetles and hang on.

Sam  22:01

When you’re in the water, at least, it’s difficult terrain. So each foot, each square, counts as two squares.

Izzy  22:10

Okay, so well she’s gonna move most of the way there or can I call out to like, what is this? Is this like a walkway or dry land over here? On the right side?

Sam  22:21

Oh, yeah. Yeah, once you get up to five feet further up than you are then you’re on land.

Izzy  22:28

Okay. So that was, gosh, I don’t even know. three squares I moved.

Sam  22:34

Yeah, sounds about right.

Izzy  22:35

Which is like six squares. So I think like here is about as far as I can get. Does that feel right?

Sam  22:42

Yeah, looks about right.

Izzy  22:43

Okay. So still two ish squares shy of the first guy. All right. Can I double move? Is that a thing here?

Sam  22:50

Yeah, you can.

Izzy 22:53

Awesome. Which means the rest of her movement to square up against the closest beat or at least give them something to attack that isn’t softer, smaller people behind her. And that’s my turn.

Sam  23:11

All right, we’re on to Vaargas.

Gero  23:15

Okay. Vaargas is also going to double move to the north to get up right behind Kera here, which you said this is the last square that isn’t land.

Sam  23:28


Gero  23:30

Okay. Yeah. So he’ll get up to there with a double move to just the barely to the shore to the south of the beetles.

Sam  23:40

Okay, and we are onto Brixbi.

Zak  23:44

Let’s see. Brixbi will move north, his full complement of movement and then again as well to go straight to the west of Vaargas right on the shore.

Sam  24:04

Okay, and Asher.

Jeff  24:07

Asher will move up 5, 10, 15 and even though it’s gonna have a little bit of cover, I imagine I am, and it’s gonna be outside of my first range anchorman. Still, Asher’s gonna take a shot at the one beetle, I think against regular AC will still be better than not having precise shot. Get the one in front of Kera. So I’m gonna take a shot straight ahead past Vaargas at this beetle. That’s a natural 20!

Sam  24:55

Okay, roll to confirm on what we’re affectionately calling beetle number two.

Jeff  25:00

Right. That’s a natural 18! So a 23 against regular AC.

Sam  25:05

That does confirm.

Jeff  15:08

Outstanding and since it’s within 30 feet, my point blank shot’s gonna give that extra plus one. So this is going to be 4 d8 plus four because, uh, pistols are a x4 critical weapon.

Izzy  25:31

Shoot that beetle so hard.

Gero  25:34

Ladies and gentlemen, the level one gunslinger doing four d8 dambage in one hit.

Jeff 25:41

Yes, who will also be needing to spend an entire turn basically to a reload, it’s still 4 d8 here. I happen to have four d8 ready. 8, 6, 3 and a 2 is 19 plus 5 for a total of 23 points of bludgeoning and piercing damage.

Sam  26:00

Well, that beetle looks for a second like it’s gonna shake off the shot and then it actually just explodes in a delayed reaction. Because you shot it so hard that its carapace wasn’t even able to explode all at once, it did one of those action movie delay things.

Jeff (as Asher)  26:21

Wow, that’s the first time I’ve seen that happen before.

Izzy (as Kera) 26:26

Seems like you got it under control.

Sam  26:29

Right now the beetle in the back is going to get its turn and we’re going to affectionately call this one Ringo, and it’s going to fly 5, 10, 15, 20 and it’s going to attempt to bite the half orc lady that it comes to first. I don’t think an eights gonna do it though, is it?

Izzy  27:10

No, but she’s pretty grossed out. I can call that like a half a will save.

Sam 27:20

Alright well. Ringo, having failed to strike his target is going to turn it over to George Harrison who’s going to take a bite at the same target. That is a 19 to hit.

Izzy  27:36

19 will do it.

Sam  27:39

Okay, George Harrison breaks out his sitar and does one damage with the bite.

Jeff  27:48

Oof, that gently weeps.

Zak  27:50

Aw, I was gonna make that joke.

Gero  27:52

Now the one we killed was Pete Best, right?

Sam  27:55

Yeah. Pete best is the one who never even got a turn. And we are back around to Kera who just got horribly, terribly chomped for a whole HP of damage.

Izzy  28:07

Mangled. Okay.

Jeff 28:08

Probably drink that potion.

Izzy  28:09

She’ll hang on to it for a little while longer.

Sam  28:11

I’d say drink all of them.

Izzy  28:13

Uhh, okay! So she is going to, let’s see, let’s keep it simple and go for the one right in front of her with the greatsword. Okay, that’s a 10 plus 5: 15 to hit

Sam  28:26

15 will hit.

Izzy  28:32

Awesome. Eight plus 6: 14 points of damage. Right? Yes.

Sam  28:42

All right. And this beetle is sliced in half, and the two halves fall to either side. The beetle is dead.

Izzy  28:53

Well, that’s my turn. Although again, looks kind of grossed out.

Izzy (as Kera)  28:56


Sam  29:00

All right. Vaargas is up.

Gero  28:59

Okay, so to step out of this square is that…difficult terrain?

Sam  29:11

You’re still in difficult terrain. Yeah. So it’s…

Gero  29:14

Yeah, so it’s, so it can’t do a full round action. So, he is going to take a step north up to this last beetle. And he is going to take a swing at it with his metal arm. That is a…19.

Sam 29:43

19 will hit.

Gero  29:46


Sam  29:47

Poor, poor Ringo.

Gero  29:49

And that is going to be max damage. So that is eight points of damage.

Sam  30:00

Down goes the third and possibly most beloved of all Beatles. So you guys have won the fight. The beetles had a grand total of 12 hp, just to let you know. So you killed them about four times over.

Izzy  30:18

Super dead.

Sam 30:21

We are out of initiative. Now it may be of note that these beetles are still glowing though they are dead. The carcasses shed about 10 feet of light.

Zak  30:41

Uh, can we roll a retroactive check on these creatures?

Sam  30:44

Yeah, it’d be knowledge nature,

Zak  30:47

Which I do not have, if anyone else does.

Gero  30:51

Neither do I.

Zak  30:54

Well, in lieu of knowing anything, Brixbi is going to clean off the rapier, as the only combatant that didn’t learn to blow or kill one of them, and sort of clear his throat looked down and be like,

Zak (as Brixbi)  31:09

Well then….handled that heartily. Um…moving forward.

Zak  31:17

Steps out of water.

Gero  31:20

Vaargas is gonna reach down and tear the leg off one of them and hold it up like a torch.

Sam  31:27

And just like that Vaargas is glowing. Let me just give you 10 feet of light.

Jeff  31:36

And Asher will reload. I said it on air.

Sam  31:40

And so you find yourself in a room that’s half water and half not. It smells bad. All that good stuff. Looks like there’s a few different ways out of here.

Izzy (as Kera)  31:55

Do you think if we just shout Khonnir’s name, he’ll hear us?

Jeff (as Asher)  32:01

Considering the warnings we were given about things that might be blending into the walls, it may not be best to announce our presence. But we also heard of many parties making their way through here, perhaps there are some tracks we can follow.

Jeff  32:17

And he’ll do a quick survival check. For a total – that’s right – total of an eight. Did anybody happen to leave signs? Like a large sign with an arrow pointing.

Sam  32:31

With an eight you can tell that feet of some humanoids have definitely stepped on this beach. You have no idea when and you can’t really tell which way they went.

Zak  32:46

So we can see a passage leaving the beach zone to the east. And then at the, where the beach terminates the north, and goes back to water kind of around that corner. There’s possibly something, we just see that the water continues on in that way. And then slightly to the north west we’re beginning to see like some holes in the wall. Is that correct?

Sam  33:17

Yep, that’s right. And now the passage out to the east is up a five foot ledge, so it’s a little bit of a climb.

Izzy  33:27

Is that where the sand on the map changes color? That’s the ledge?

Sam  33:31


Gero  33:33

So it’s a ledge up, or a ledge down?

Sam  33:36

it’s up, sorry.

Gero  33:38


Izzy (as Kera)  33:39

It seems like the closest way without getting back in the water. And you know, it seems like some of us don’t love water. So, I vote east.

Zak (as Brixbi)  33:51

Right, it…doesn’t bode particularly well for an allegedly high traffic area to have multiple beasts such as this just out roaming, but all the more reason for us to possibly take this first passage to the right.

Jeff (as Asher)  34:18

Agreed. We know Khonnir hasn’t been seen in two days, so it may not be a clear indication given the time but, I do approve of Kera’s suggestion. I believe she may have been speaking about me and my aversion to water. But perhaps not, I shouldn’t assume.

Izzy (as Kera)  34:44


Gero (as Vaargas)  34:46

The people who’ve been coming in here so far aren’t seasoned adventures, they’re towns folk, they most likely would have taken the path of least resistance. That seems like this path here to the east.

Zak (as Brixbi)  35:01

Seems logical. So who first? I, I have some skills, uh, scouting, Dark narrow passages, sort of my bailiwick.

Izzy (as Kera)  35:21

If you want to go first, I can like boost you up there.

Zak (as Brixbi)  35:26

That would be much obliged.

Sam  35:29

If you want to lift Brixbi up he can skip the climb check that I was going to make him do.

Zak (as Brixbi)  35:36

Thank you, would have been embarrassing.

Zak  36:41

Uh, plops down.

Sam  35:43

Everybody else will need a climb check to make the five feet though. It’s a little too high to just be a gimme

Izzy  35:51

That’s an eight on the dice for a nine.

Sam  35:55

Okay, a nine is enough to get up

Gero  35:57

Four for a six.

Sam  36:01

Six. Six is also enough

Jeff  36:04

Given that I seem to have at least 10 feet of running start, could I try and just acrobatics jump up there? Or will you demand a climb?

Sam  36:15

if you’d like, but I can’t promise that there’s no lava on the other side of it. You can jump if you want to.

Jeff  36:21

You know, I’m gonna take my chances, he famously said. 13 on the dice for a 15 with this soggy armor on.

Sam  36:34

Alright, and a, an impressive display of athleticism, Asher manages to hop the five foot ledge and leap up into the next room.

Izzy  36:46

Like a box jump.

Sam  36:49

Now that you’re all in this chamber, you find a collection of stalactites and stalagmites choking this low ceilinged cavern, making it difficult to squeeze between them. Matching stalactites close in from the five foot ceiling, giving the impression of a maw of needlelike teeth bearing down on one another. There is a dead half orc body sprawled out at the far end of the cavern.

Izzy  37:17

Does he look familiar?

Sam  37:20

That would be a she.

Izzy  37:23


Sam  37:24

She is familiar to Kera, this is the body of Parda Gar.

Izzy  37:31

Kera will rush on over there, here, there…where the body is.

Sam  37:40

Yeah, right at the eastern edge of the room.

Izzy  37:43

And I guess, narratively, will freak out and try and wake her up. You’re oh, can I do, I guess like a heel check to see if she’s breathing.

Sam  37:55

Oh, yeah, sure.

Izzy  37:57

You definitely said dead. Did you say dead? Or you said unconscious?

Sam  37:59

She looks pretty dead. But you can roll you can roll a heel check.

Izzy  38:01

Yeah, she’s, she’s concerned. That’s 13…14.

Sam  38:09

With a 14 to heal, you are definitely sure she’s dead. And she has multiple stab wounds from some kind of a small blade.

Izzy (as Kera)  38:20

I…she used to live in town with us. I didn’t know she came down here. She’s definitely dead.

Zak (as Brixbi)  38:32

Yeah. Kera, I’m so sorry.

Gero  38:34

Did we get the names of Khonnir’s group?

Sam  38:37

No, that- they didn’t give you the names.

Zak  38:40

Yeah, she said a group of halflings, she mentioned some thugs heading down here, some devotees of Brigh, and then Khonnir and a group of semi-seasoned adventurers. Um yeah. Brixbi will kind of put his paw on Kea’s knee and in that really, like, kind of awkward “I don’t know how-to console somebody because you lack the people skills” sort of way, go.

Zak (as Brixbi)  39:10

Kera, I’m sorry.

Izzy (as Kera).  39:15

Um, it’s okay. It’s…se’s… It’s fine. Thanks. Whatever did this, it wasn’t those beetles, right? They don’t stab people. I don’t think.

Zak (as Brixbi)  39:31

Well, none of you really gave them a chance to show what they could do.

Zak  39:37

He realizes the joke isn’t really gonna land right

Izzt  39:41

Not now.

Zak (as Brixbi)  39:44

I don’t know if we should possibly bring her body closer to the water to make it easier to bring her out later. No one should be left like this. No one should be left dead in a cave.

Zak  40:03

He looks really serious.

Izzy (as Kera)  40:06

Um, yeah, I would like to take her home if I can. I don’t know if I can lift her.

Izzy  40:13

Can I can I lift her?

Sam  40:15

Yeah, you can. You can lift her up. You’ll be encumbered while you’re carrying her.

Izzy  40:21

Yeah, I think she’ll take her and then go back to the edge of the ledge and kind of lay her out in a way that is better than having died in the sand.

Zak  40:36

Just roll her over.

Izzy  40:38

Just kind of roll her in to the water.

Gero  40:40

Vaargas is actually going to step up and he’s going to, like, pick up the feet and help you carry her over. And he’ll say,

Gero (as Vaargas)  40:51

She appears to have died a warrior’s death. She deserves a proper burial.

Izzy (as Kera)  40:57

She – she would think it’s so cool that you said that, I think.

Jeff (as Asher)  41:01

Yes, I’m sorry for your loss.

Zak (as Brixbi)  41:04

All the more reason for us to be on our guard.

Izzy (as Kera)  41:09

Yeah, let’s um, find Khonnir and hopefully whoever did this to her.

Sam  41:15

After depositing Parda’s body which is already stiff and has clearly been dead for a couple of days, now, back on the beach for easier transport later. Are you heading back through the east end of this cave?

Zak  41:33

Yeah, I think we’re gonna progress East through the cavern.

Sam 41:38

All right.

Gero  41:39

We’ve got another branch over here, though.

Sam  41:42

Heading out the eastern end of the cavern here, the dark cave opens up and the ceilings rise to 20 feet high. And the rocky shore here overlooks the placid pool of the stream fed by a trickle of water leaking down from a narrow fissure in the wall to the north. A small garden of toadstools and mold got grow among its banks. But as all of you come in to this room, you see a strange, stout, frog-like creature sitting on the banks of the water –

Zak  42:25


Izzy  42:25


Sam  42:26

With –

Zak  42:26


Sam  4:26

A cone of light shooting out of its iridescent eyes and as the cone of light falls upon you I’m going to need everyone to make a fortitude safe.

[Zak groans]

Izzy  42:38

Some warning before you throw things on the screen.

Gero  42:44

Looks like a hunter from Resident Evil.

Zak  42:50

That’s a nine coach. That’s a big nine.

Jeff  42:54

Oh, me too.

Izzy  42:56

Aw, buddies!

Zak  42:57


Izzy  42:58

Uh, that’s a 22 for Kera.

Gero  43:01

Twenty-one for Vaargas, plus four fort.

Sam  43:04

Okay, so there’s, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is that Kera and Vaargas are totally fine. And they’re free to act as normal. The bad news is that Asher and Brixbi, as they first come into contact with this cone of light coming from this creature’s eyes, find that they can’t see anything any longer. They are blind. Remember when I said everyone would probably survive episode one. Episode Two might be a little bit dicier. Everybody roll for initiative.

Zak  43:46

Hold on, let me throw on the blinded condition before I roll my initiative. Asher, I think that effects are init.

Jeff  43:55

Oh, yay.

Izzy  43:56

It’ll be fine.

Sam  43:57

The blinded gunslinger, I think, is gonna be very, very effective.

Izzy  44:03

Yeah, that’s less fine.

Jeff  44:06

I can only hope so.

Izzy  44:08

That is a total of twenty for Kera. And I think as she, because I forgot to mention this last time, as she prepares for this. It looks like she’s gonna roll like a 15 initiative and then a little black scorpion with a pink bowtie on its tail, like, crawls from under her hair and just kind of settles on her shoulder where score- where this scorpion was during their swim, none can say. But it’ll be like a fun mystery to unravel later.

Zak  44:42

Ooh, All right. Oh…boy. All right, so blinded does not affect your initiative, my bad, which is good because I rolled a four for a seven.

Gero  44:58

And Vaargas got a natural 19, really liking new die, for a 21.

Sam  45:07


Jeff  45:09

A natural 16 on the Order 937 dice from Orcansee Game Works for an adjusted twenty.

Sam  45:19

Wow. So who’s got the higher bonus between Kera and Asher?

Jeff  45:27

Pretty sure Kera does, I have a plus four.

Izzy  45:30

Yeah, I’m plus five.

Sam  45:32

All right, so Vaargas is up first.

Gero  45:37

I was not expecting that, I’m not used to having the highest initiative. I guess I’m just going to move up towards these things. Is that going to be diagonal the entire way?

Sam  45:51

It looks pretty diagonal.

Gero  45:53

It’s every diagonal past the first that counts as a double move, right?

Zak  45:57

Alternating. So it’s 5, 10, 5, 10.

Gero  46:00

Every other diagonal, so that’s five but then that would be 15. So Vaargas is going to move northeast towards this…thing. So 20 and then that would be 30, I can get to just to it with my movement. And he’s going to take a swing at it with his metal arm. And natural one, I no longer like that die.

Izzy  46:34

Why is it back on the screen?

Sam  46:36

I was just showing you what he’s trying to punch.

Gero  46:40

He’s showing up to kill Vaargas.

Sam  46:42

As Vaargas takes a swing…and it is pink, and it is stocky, and it has teeth, and…it’s a horrible frog monster glowy-eyed thing, and Vaargas misses. We are to Kera.

Izzy  47:00

Okay, let’s see. Yeah, given the diagonal thing. And I’m one square away. So I don’t think I will be able to make it there with my normal movement. I’m going to get rid of that thing on my screen because it’s scary. Although, I don’t know it’s kind of cute. It’s pink. That’s, that’s nice. I just wish it didn’t emerge from the screen. Yeah, I think I’m just gonna double move over to just walk right up to the thing across the beach. Can it get me like next to it?

Sam  47:30

With a double move you can get next to it, yeah.

Izzy  47:32

Okay, I will do that. And that’ll be my turn. Let me stand here so other people can get to it. Here, next to it-ish.

Sam  47:44

Okay, and Asher totally knows where this creature is and he shoots and kills Vaargas.

Jeff  47:53

Aw, way to steal my thunder. He will move in and because, part of the fun thing about being blinded is if you try and move any faster than half speed, you have to, you know, roll an acrobatics check or you fall prone. And…that just sounds fun, so I’m gonna give it a try. I’m gonna try and move my regular speed 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 eastward into, into the cave and towards where I briefly saw this creature and it’s shiny, shiny mouth. So I’m going to roll that DC 10 acrobatics check with a plus two modifier. And yes, yes, that is a 14 on the die I do not fall prone. And because I’m just feeling lucky, you know, I got a crit, I’ve got a 50% chance to even hit this thing if I shoot at it. I’m gonna take my chances. I am within my 25 feet range increment because of my Roving Range trait I get an extra five feet to my range. I’m going to take a shot, blindly, at the super cool creature. Going back to the portal dice paid off with a natural 19 that is a 24 against Touch AC.

Sam  49:18

That will hit if you can hit the concealment.

Jeff  49:21

Let’s try. I’m gonna say 51 or higher is a success. And that is a 71 so I successfully hit. Huzzah. So for a D8 plus one – thank you point blank shot, the blind gunslinger hit him for six points of damage.

Sam  49:49


Gero  49:51


Jeff (as Asher)  49:52

Did it hit? Did I get it?

Izzy (as Kera)  49:54

Good, good job.

Jeff (as Asher)  49:56

Oh, awesome. How lucky I am.

Sam  50:01

This creature is going to hell with rage. And it’s going to go wild on the two people standing in front of it. So let’s start with a bite at Vaargas. That is an eight to hit.

Gero  50:21

That is a miss.

Sam  50:23

All right, he’s gonna get a claw as well that’s a natural one. So that definitely hits, and Kera gets the second claw. Ooh, that’s a little better. That is a 22 hit.

Izzy  50:41

Also a hit.

Sam  50:43

All right.

Izzy  50:44

For one damage again.

Sam  50:46

No, this time it is two damage. This thing is very serious.

Izzy  50:51

That’s acceptable.

Sam  50:53

It’s gonna take a five foot step back into the water. And we are up to Brixbi.

Zak  51:03

Yeah, I mean, I know what I could optimally do in this situation. But I mean, candidly, Brixbi just met everybody in his party. He’s blind. He doesn’t know anybody…well. He agreed to kind of go into a cave with a bunch of mercenaries like he’s done plenty of times before. But honestly, he’s freaking out. He’s gonna move. I’m gonna say 10 feet north, which is just half of his movement speed to not make an acrobatics roll, drawing his rapier and just sort of pointing in all directions. I don’t think mechanically he would try to orient himself or charge into battle. He’s scared. So that’s the whole of his turn.

Sam  51:53

Alright, Vaargas is back up.

Gero  51:57

All right. Vaargas is, for the first time, going to be using his spell combat. So he is going to be able to cast a spell and attack on the same turn as long as he doesn’t move. So the first thing he does, you see him clench his left arm, and he has a very intricate Gorum tattoo, spiraling around his forearm, and it starts to glow. And as it glows, his right metal arm, all of the metal strips and bars, like, almost look like they’re starting to fall apart. And the arm stretches out to twice its normal length, as he casts long arm on himself. Which with his extra five feet of reach, he will then swing out again at this creature in the water.

Jeff  53:04


Gero  53:05

That is a little better. Still not sure if that’s gonna hit, that’s gonna be 15?

Sam  53:11

Fifteen doesn’t do it.

Gero  53:13

So he swings out just kind of splashes off to the left of it. And that will be the end of his turn.

Sam  53:22

Alright. Kera is up.

Izzy  53:26

Okay. Kera’ll first turned to Vaargas and be like,

Izzy (as Kera)  53:30

Oh my gosh, I love your tattoo. Same, same!

Izzy  53:33

Sort of and gesture to her own tattoo. And then, I think, let’s see. She’s gonna take a step forward, which is probably gonna put her in difficult terrain if she steps off the beach.

Sam  53:48


Izzy  53:48

Okay. Yep, she’s gonna do it anyway. Let’s do a five foot step toward the frog thing. And then just try and swing at it with her greatsword. 13 on the die plus, I cannot remember any of the numbers. What is that? Plus five, so 18 to hit.

Sam  54:11

Yeah, that hits.

Izzy  54:14

Great, that is six plus two plus 6, 12, 14. 14 points of damage on the frog thing.

Sam  54:26

All right, the horrible frog monster thing is looking pretty rough. Now, it is still up but it’s bleeding profusely from a horrible stab wound into the water and Asher, our blind gunslinger is up.

Jeff  54:40

So, he’s still blind. That was my first question, I didn’t know if it was one round or…

Sam  54:46

No, it’s, it’s a little longer than one round.

Jeff  54:50

Permanently? Neat!

Gero  54:50

Permanent blindness.

Jeff  54:53

Love that level one. Unfortunately, despite his, his heroics so far, he does need to spend his standard action reloading. He’ll just kind of blindly grab off his bandolier one of his bullets that he’s made, chamber it into the gun, and just for, he doesn’t even really know if the things moved, so he’s just gonna stand there and say,

Jeff (as Asher)  55:19

Well, is it still up?

Izzy (as Kera)  55:23

Yeah, but it looks like…super bad.

Jeff (as Asher)  55:27

Okay, well I’ll take your word for it, good work team.

Jeff  tt:31

And that’s his whole turn.

Sam  55:34

All right and Vaargas’ long arm has saved him the brunt of this creature’s full attack. Kera is sadly about to get the claw, claw, bite. Claw number..claw number one is an eight. Guessing that doesn’t do it?

Izzy  55:54

Does not do it.

Sam  55:56

And another eight. So this die is going in the garbage because it’s clearly waited to roll threes. And we have a 21 for the bite.

Izzy  56:07

Yeah, so it’s a good strong bite.

Sam  56:12

And we’ve got a solid four damage this time around.

Izzy  56:15

Hey, that’s gonna bruise at the least

Sam  56:20

And this creature will once again take a step, five foot step in the water. And Brixbi is back up.

Zak  56:32

Brixbi, still blind, he’s going to sort of come in control of his faculties a bit more hearing combat, is going to stagger another half of his movement speed to the northeast, and then east. And kind of sensing that he’s near right now he’s north of Asher and southwest of Vaargas, sensing that he’s near the party. He’s gonna stop and ready an action to attack if he gets attacked.

Sam  57:14

Alright. We’re back around to Vaargas with the super long robot arm.

Gero  57:19

Yeah. So it would it be swimming in here? Or would it still, I would just be like wading, I’d still be standing.

Sam  57:29

You’d still be standing.

Gero  57:32

So Vaargas is going to take a step forward, wade out into the surf, still keeping his distance of 10 feet from this creature. And I’m going to try my clockwork dragon d20 this time, because I got two misses in a row on the other one. And that’s also going to be a miss, unless somehow a 15 doesn’t hit but an eight does.

Sam  57:59

Ah, no, an eight will not do it.

Gero  58:01

Yep, so that’s it then, he just splashes against it again, maybe, like, the refraction in the water, like, he can’t quite hit where he’s aiming. And that’ll be his turn.

Sam  58:15

Alright, Kera is up.

Izzy  58:17

Cool, right. Kera’s looking slightly less chipper than she was when they came in, but is pretty determined to avenge her friend and solve the mystery. So perhaps against, against her better judgment, she’s gonna take one more five foot step into the water toward the frog guy. Can I still swing from here?

Sam  58:41

Yeah, you can swing from there, but you actually had to take a move action because that’s difficult terrain.

Izzy  58:47

Oh, right. Okay, cool.

Sam  58:49

Not that it really matters at this level.

Izzy  58:53

Eh, that’s not great. That’s gonna be a 16 to hit.

Sam  58:59

The 16 would hit except that he’s got some cover from hiding in the water.

Izzy  59:04

I got real close to it, okay.

Sam  59:06

So it’s actually not gonna do it.

Izzy  59:10

She looks disappointed and confused and ends her turn.

Sam  59:14

Alright, Asher, we’re back around to you.

Jeff  59:18

Yeah, Asher…man, he can’t see and he hears his teammates just kinda splashing around in the water. And he’ll move up next to Brixbi and say,

Jeff (as Asher)  59:32

Well, I…

Jeff  59:35

And he’ll kind of reach down and, and, and pat at the soggy fur, and say

Jeff (as Asher)  59:40

I believe you and I are in the same boat. Although obviously not in a boat. We’re here in a cave, but you know it’s, it’s a figure of speech, trying them out. In either case, we can’t see I don’t know how to use I can be

Jeff 59:53

And he’ll also ready an action, if for some reason this creature decides to shamble up, you know, right next to me, Asher’s gonna shoot it. Yeah.

Sam  1:00:08

Alright. The little beastie is going to swim his way up between Kera and Vaargas and

Gero  1:00:17

Uh, question on that, would that provoke since I have reach now?

Sam  1:00:21

it’s a five foot step for him because he has –

Gero  1:00:24

Oh he’s five foot? Oh, cuz he has, uh –

Sam  1:00:26

He’s got a swim speed.

Gero  1:00:28

Swimming. Dang.

Sam  1:00:32

So that is going to be a 21 to claw Vaargas.

Gero  1:00:36

That is definitely a hit.

Sam  1:00:39

Okay, that’s gonna be the minimum two damage, and he’s going to claw Vaargas again. That is a 20 this time.

Gero  1:00:51

That is also a hit.

Izzy  1:00:51

It’s real good at hitting stuff.

Sam  1:00:54

Minimum again, I’m rolling garbage. Two more damage. The big bite is going to go for Kera. That is a 23.

Izzt  1:01:05

That’ll do it.

Gero  1:01:06

Ow. Can you switch those dice back?

Izzy  1:01:09

Yeah, what happened to the low dice?

Sam  1:01:13

That is four damage.

Izzy  1:01:15

Oh, okay. Kera does not look good.

Gero  1:01:19

I was gonna say, Kera’s down eight, I think?

Izzy  1:01:23

Kera’s down 11.

Gero  1:01:26


Sam  1:01:28

Oof! Kera’s gotta be wobbling at this point.

Izzy  1:01:30

Yeah, it’s not a great time.

Sam  1:01:34

It’s on Brixbi, the blind rat man, to save the day.

Zak  1:01:38

All right, back on my turn my readied action has not gone off. I am readying the same standard action that if I sense this creature is within striking distance or attacks me, that I will attack it. As a free action at the end of my turn, Brixbi is going to shout to his teammates.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:02:01

Um. Not to say your prowess, but I think that thing can fight better in the water than either of you. Perhaps get back on land, we could surround it.

Zak  1:02:16

And that’ll be it for his turn.

Sam  1:02:18

Alight. We’re back up to Vaargas.

Gero  1:02:22

Okay. And Vaargas will say ,

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:02:25

The rat’s right. We have to draw it back onto land.

Gero  1:02:28

And he’s going to back up. I’m leaving this one, so would that be a five foot? Or would that be considered movement, because I’m leaving difficult.

Sam  1:02:41

Yeah, leaving difficult terrain I think counts as a move action.

Gero  1:02:46

Okay, then he’s gonna get an AOO.

Sam  1:02:49

That’s a 23.

Gero  1:02:51

Yep, that’s a hit.

Sam  1:02:54

Gets you with the chomp for max damage, five damage.

Gero  1:03:01

So after stepping back, then, he is going to pull out that potion. But he can’t do anything else with it this round because he needs the rest of a turn. But I am going to pull it out into my hand, the potion of Cure Light. And that will be his turn.

Sam  1:03:24

Kera is up once more.

Izzy  1:03:27

Um, she has heard Brixbi’s advice barely, just through the ringing of her ears. And will also, I think it probably makes the most sense to just disengage. Can I do that? Can you disengage and move? Is that the same thing?

Sam  1:03:46

You can, what’s called a full withdrawal. It’s a full round action but you can move up to twice your speed.

Izzy  1:03:52

Okay. Okay, so then she will just leave and assume this doesn’t have combat reflexes, but let me know if I’m wrong. I will take a regular movement

Sam  1:04:03

With a full withdrawal it doesn’t get the attack of opportunity.

Izzy  1:04:10

I’ll do a regular movement and assume that this doesn’t have combat reflexes, and can’t hit me also. Could be wrong.

Sam  1:04:19


Izzy  1:04:20

She will step back beside Vaargas and…maybe not in front of Asher though. So I guess the other side of Vaargas, and also prepare to, or, pull out the potion for later drinking. And that’s my turn.

Sam  1:04:41

Okay, we’re up to Asher and sadly no one has shouted at him that he has a clean shot at the beast.

Gero  1:04:50

Wait, speaking’s a free action. Vaargas is going to yell,

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:04:53

We’re out of the way.

Jeff (as Asher)  1:04:56

Which…which way should I point it?

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:04:59



Using his keen sense of direction, he’ll know that North is directly in front of him. And tempting fate, he will shoot. I mean, there’s nobody in melee range. This is, this is prime gunslinging. Uh, ew, so an eight on the dice is going to bring it up to a 14 against touch?

Sam  1:05:25

14 will not hit touch because he has cover from the water.

Jeff  1:05:31

I don’t know, it looks like maybe I’m a little bit higher, I should get a higher ground…aw, it’s fine. And for the first time this podcast, Asher misses. It won’t be the last.

Jeff (as Asher)  1:05:43

Did – Did I get it?

Izzy (as Kera)  1:05:46

Uh…yes. Good job.

Jeff (as Asher)  1:05:47

Ah, outstanding! Thank you, Kera.

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:05:52

She’s humoring you. Aim lower.

Jeff (as Asher)  1:05:55

I’m getting conflicting information.

Izzy (as Kera)  1:05:58

Oh, you hit it in spirit.

Jeff  1:06:01

That, yeah, Asher’s not gonna move. That’ll be his turn.

Sam  1:06:05

It seems a little bit conflicted on this one because on the one hand, that was terrifying. On another hand, it is bleeding badly. On the other hand, it’s got a lot of hands, if you look at this thing. Those, those feet are like hands.

Gero  1:06:22

Stop blowing it up.

Izzy  1:06:24

You zoomed in!

Jeff  1:06:26

I think it should have bite, claw, claw, claw, claw, tail slap. We should be getting five attacks probably.

Sam  1:06:32

You’re right. Good…good point.

Zak  1:06:33

Yeah, don’t forget rend in there.

Sam  1:06:36

Maybe when the advanced version of this guy comes out…in a couple of levels.

Gero  1:06:41

I was gonna say, looking at that. There were some jokes made before we started the podcast of fighting a juvenile tarrasque.

Sam  1:06:52

it looks a little bit like one, I’ll give you that. He’s gonna step up and go for a full attack at Vaargas. This is, this is dangerous territory.

Gero  1:07:00


Izzy  1:07:01

Gonna be rough.

Gero  1:07:02

Yeah, this is a very…

Sam  1:07:05

21 on the first claw.

Gero  1:07:07

That is a hit.

Sam  1:07:10

Two damage.

Gero  1:07:11

Okay, Vaargas is at exactly zero.

Sam  1:07:19

Oof! Aw, that’s a natural 20 on the second claw.

Izzy  1:07:24


Gero  1:07:26

Also definitely going to be a hit.

Sam  1:07:28

21 to confirm.

Izzy  1:07:30


Gero  1:07:31

That is a confirm. 14 AC.

Izzy  1:07:33

Oh, no.

Sam  1:07:34

Oh, man. So that is five damage.

Gero  1:07:40

Okay, Vaargas is unconscious. But oddly enough, he is not dying. As soon as he goes down he seems to stabilize on his own.

Izzy  1:07:53

Oh, that’s good.

Sam  1:07:53

All right. But as Vaargas crumbles to the ground, that creature is not gonna press its attack. It’s gonna wait for the next round. Brixbi is up.

Zak  1:08:08

So Brixbi, up until this point, has shown…maybe not cowardice, but caution in the fight, but he does hear the unmistakable sounds of a combatant going down. And whether it’s the heavy, junky metal arm hitting on the ground, or some sound of physical pain before Vaargas collapsed, Brixbi is going to step up and he’s going to attempt a crazy, emotional full attack against the creature with, with concealment. So, taking a step to the north east, Brixbi is going to occupy the square in front of Asher and to the left of Vaargas and take a fall attack. First with the rapier, that is a 19 on the die, coach. Which is a critical threat. So I’m gonna roll that again. That’s this, does not confirm that’s five plus four nine to confirm. Unfortunately.

Sam  1:09:15

So roll, concealment.


Oh, yeah. Let’s do that, there.

Sam  1:09:23

High is better if you don’t announce otherwise.

Zak  1:09:26

That is a 46. So that would miss anyway. All right, and with the tail blade, so this is a negative one. That is an 11 to hit.

Sam  1:09:39

11 is not going to do it.

Zak  1:09:41

All right. Yeah. Brixbi up until this point has not made a, an attempt to a martial advance on an enemy. But you see him sort of go for broke, swinging his rapier and tail blade emotionally and missing.

Jeff  1:09:59

Asher did not see that.


Zak  1:10:05

Neither did I.

Gero  1:10:08

Vaargas is going to take another point of damage to bring him to negative six. And, suddenly you see his eyes snap open. And from the ground, he is going to take a swing at this thing, which I imagine I’m going to get a penalty for that right? For attacking from prone?

Sam  1:10:33

I believe it’s minus two to attack from prone.

Gero  1:10:36

Okay, so I’ll just be a plus one. That is an 18.

Sam  1:10:43

An 18 will hit

Gero  1:10:45

  1. So that is, that’s only going to be three points of damage.

Sam  1:10:54

Three points of damage is enough. Why don’t you narrate Vaargas’ dramatic execution of this creature.

Gero  1:11:01

Basically, he goes down the turn before, comes around to him again, his eyes snap open. He swings, hits it, and then they both collapse. He goes back unconscious, and it falls into the water and dies.

Izzy  1:11:19


Sam  1:11:20

Very nice.

Gero  1:11:23

And that is one of his starting traits called “broken, not beaten”. And it’s also the one that lets him auto stabilize. Once a day, when he’s under zero, he could take one more point of damage to wake back up for one more- one turn. He’s staggered, so he can only do an action or a move. But that was enough for now.

Sam  1:11:46

Well, with very dramatic timing and a pretty perfect use of that particular ability, I’m gonna go ahead and award you a sky medal, which is our version of a hero point. Good for plus four on any d20 roll. So, congratulations, on your sky medal, and on defeating this horrible, horrible creature. Which, just one last look at it.


Izzy  1:12:15

Way to ruin a perfect moment. It was so good.

Zak  1:12:20

So, wait, are we still blind?

Sam  1:12:24

You are still blind.

Zak  1:12:26

F***. Sorry.

Jeff  1:12:28

Aw, we’re b-b-blinded by the light.

Zak  1:12:30

Aw, gosh.

Izzy  1:12:32

Yeah, party is not in great shape.

Zak  1:12:34

Yeah, I, so, Brixbi then will just be, instead of, he will say,

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:12:41

Uh, Vaargas! Vaargas?

Zak  1:12:45

Kind of extend his arms out. Turning to the right and left.

Gero  1:12:50

Yeah, he is out cold.

Izzy (as Kera)  1:12:52

I think he’s really hurt.

Gero  1:12:54

He does have his potion laying on the ground next to him because he didn’t have – and he went down.

Zak  1:12:55

In his hand.

Jeff  1:13:01

Oh, but Brixbi can’t see, and he steps on it and it shatters.

Zak  1:13:04

It’s true. It breaks and I drop mine too and it breaks.

Sam  1:13:11

And all the liquid from both of them goes to the creature and it, uh,  it’s back up.

Jeff  1:13:18

Bummer. You know, you hate to see it happen. Thankfully Asher can’t see it happen.

Zak  1:13:22

The rules of the game!

Izzy  1:13:26

Okay, so Kera can still see, doesn’t look great, but is okay enough to like, go over to Vaargas and give him the potion? Can she do that?

Sam  1:13:38


Izzy  1:13:39

Right. So, uh, yeah, check – and she was seconds from freaking out having seen like a one of her new BFF go down. And then he like woke up and killed the thing. And she was like,

Izzy (as Kera)  1:13:49

Oh my god, that’s so cool.

Izzy  1:13:50

And then he goes back unconscious. And she’s like,

Izzy (as Kera)  1:13:52

Oh, right. Right.

Izzy  1:13:54

She will go over, take the potion and like, force feed it to him. She’s like,

Izzy (as Kera)  1:14:00

Wait, we still have to talk about tattoos though. Remember?

Sam  1:14:05

And that’s one d8 plus one healing. either of you can roll it.

Izzy  1:14:10

Feeling lucky? I mean, that last shot was pretty lucky.

Gero  1:14:15

So is she rolling? Is that what you said?

Izzy  1:14:17

Yeah, it doesn’t matter. I have the dice in my hand, I could do it. Six plus….what did you say it was? One D8 plus…?

Sam  1:14:26

Plus 1.

Izzy  1:14:27

Oh. Seven.

Gero  1:14:28

Well, that puts me at one –

Izzy  1:14:32


Gero  1:14:32

So I am awake. Whoops, I just added seven lethal instead of removing it.

Zak  1:14:37

Oh no, he’s dead.

Sam  1:14:38

Naw, it counts, it’s canon.

Zak  1:14:39


Sam  1:14:45

So Vaargas you snap away with one hp. The creature is dead in the water, right…right by you, or bleeding to death.

Gero  1:14:55

Yeah, I imagine, like, like, when that ability activates, like, it’s sort of like he’s, like, acting like he was not awake for that. So he snaps up like,

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:15:06

Where is it? Did we win? Is it dead?

Izzy (as Kera)  1:15:10

Are you kidding? Did you not? Oh, it was so cool. Okay, so like, we’re fighting it and it came and it bit you, and then you passed out and I was like, ‘Oh my god, no!’ But then, but then you woke up again, and you don’t remember that at all. You hit it and now it’s dead. Are you okay?

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:15:26

Been worse.

Izzy (as Kera)  1:15:29

We can probably, guys just, it’s dead! Can you…?

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:15:36


Jeff (as Asher)  1:15:35


Zak (as Brixbi)  1:15:37


Jeff (as Asher)  1:15:37

Good work, everyone.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:15:38

You don’t sound great. Um…

Zak 1:15:42

And he sighs a little under his breath and removes his potion. Just sort of waves it wildly around.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:15:50

You need this?

Gero  1:15:53

Vaargas will accept the potion, will take it out of his hand. He’ll say,

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:16:00

Thank you…small rat man.

Gero  1:16:03

Like you can tell, he has not bothered to learn Brixbi’s name. That’s a D8 or D6?

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:16:09

Oh, whoops! It’s just, uh, I, I didn’t put the cap on! And I spilled it all out, blind, dumb rat man, I am. No, he, uh

Gero  1:16:20

That’s, he said D8 plus one, right?

Zak  1:16:22


Jeff  1:16:23


Zak  1:16:24

Yeah, do you want to roll it?

Izzy  1:16:25


Gero  1:16:26

Ooh, nice. That is seven.

Izzy  1:16:29

Kera will take the, I guess the potion she was carrying and also do that. Also seven.

Sam  1:16:38

Nice! Good rolls on those D8s.

Izzy  1:16:41

Good thing. It would be super embarrassing to die.

Gero  1:16:44

He’ll say,

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:16:47

Are you two…can either of you see yet?

Jeff (as Asher)  1:16:50


Zak (as Brixbi)  1:16:50


Jeff (as Asher)  1:16:51

No. I can’t see a thing.

Jeff  1:16:55

But he’ll still blindly reload.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:16:57

Yeah, this is…thats sounds very cool, what you’re doing right now without sight…the clicky-clacky.

Zak  1:17:10

Brixbi is gonna sit against the wall. Honestly, he’s a little freaked out that he can’t see.

Gero  1:17:15

Yeah, how long have we…like how long have we been down?

Sam 1:17:21

Down in this cave?

Gero  1:17:22


Sam  1:17:23

Probably half an hour or so.

Gero  1:17:25

Okay, so we’re still well within our six hours.

Sam  1:17:29


Gero  1:17:30

So Vaargas will say,

Gero  (as Vaargas)  1:17:33

We- we can’t continue forward like this. We should rest at least for a little bit. See…if you two regain your sight. Maybe an hour at the most. If it doesn’t seem like you’re getting it back, we may need to return to town.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:17:53

I would agree. I appreciate you waiting.

Jeff (as Asher)  1:17:57

Aw, come now. I’m all for waiting an hour or so. But I’d be remiss to return so soon.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:18:07

I’d rather return to get our eyes fixed than get my body raised.

Izzy (as Kera)  1:18:13

We did just burn through three of four healing potions.

Jeff  1:18:18

Yeah, you should probably spend a resolve point to get all your stamina back.

Zak  1:18:21

We’re not that far along in this adventure yet.

Sam  1:18:25

Though this may be as close as you ever get to Starfinder, yeah.

Gero  1:18:29

I was gonna say, this is secretly a Starfinder AP the entire time.

Jeff  1:18:33

Surprise, listeners! Episode two reveal.

Zak  1:18:39

I’m an Envoy, that’s why I’m this useless. Uh, no. Really.

Jeff 1:18:45


Izzy  1:18:46

The one Starfinder character I ever played.

Zak  1:18:51

Brixbi’s- yeah, Brixbi is gonna sit against the wall, he’s freaking out a little bit. Just because honestly his, his capacity for perception, his ability to scout and see what’s going on is a huge part of his survivability and his contribution to the group. So yeah, he’s a pretty unsettled.

Gero  1:19:16

And it’s gonna freak him out. Especially like, probably like, as a first level character, like, if he’s been in fights before and he’s been hit by something, it’s probably worn off after a few seconds. Like, the fact that we’re five minutes into this and he still can’t see is gotta be kinda freaking him out.

Zak  1:19:38

Definitely or partying, or sorry, adventuring without a cleric or any other sort of healing-inclined individual.

Gero  1:19:47

Yeah, that’s why Vaargas is worried we might need to go back, like get restoration cast on him if that’s permanent blindness.

Jeff  1:19:56

I’ll be doing a lot of dishes for the temple of Brigh. We could barely- we couldn’t afford a single potion, but they’re gonna cast resto on us for free.

Gero  1:20:06

I was gonna say, I don’t think even, I don’t think lesser restoration cures blindness. I think you need full-on restoration, don’t you?

Zak  1:20:13

Oh, you can do Cure Blindness/Deafness, which is a second or third level arcane spell.

Gero  1:20:22

It’s the same level as whatever blindness is. I think that’s second.

Zak  1:20:26

Yeah, I think so.

Jeff  1:20:28

Does anyone have the arcane knowledge to learn more about our condition?

Gero  1:20:34

Uh…oh. Do I have Knowledge: Arcana? No, I didn’t take that.

Zak  1:20:37

I do have know, Knowledge: Arcana if that will help.

Sam  1:20:42

Yeah, if you want to roll a Knowledge: Arcana for the brief glimpse of the creature you did get.

Zak  1:20:49

Yeah, I guess I was canonically in the front when this did happen. So if anyone did get a glimpse of this-

Gero  1:20:56

You could run your hands all over it, too.

Zak  1:20:59

Yeah, but unfortunately, that’s a six on the die. So plus five, that would be an 11 for me.

Sam  1:21:06

Yeah, that’s, that’s not even enough to recognize the creature under such circumstances.

Zak  1:21:13

Yeah, I’d say that Brixbi got such a tiny glimpse before he went blind that he wouldn’t even be able to tell you what it looks like.

Ssm  1:21:22

Sadly, everyone else has gotten a pretty- everyone but Asher’s gotten a pretty good look at it.

Izzy  1:21:27

My trust in you as a DM and a person: rapidly withering.

Sam  1:21:34

I promise that up, there’ll be other cuter monsters later.

Izzy  1:21:37

I’m just gonna leave it up there, because every time I try and close the window it comes back.

Sam  1:21:45

Alright, so everybody’s just sort of hanging out in this room for a little bit to see if the vision comes back. You sighted individuals doing anything while, um, they’re waiting?

Gero  1:21:59

Vaargas is gonna search the creature. It looked pretty naked, but maybe it’s got something in its stomach or something.

Sam  1:22:11

The creature doesn’t appear to have anything, it’s definitely just a beast of sorts that is not clothed. It has what looks like the tattered shreds remaining from a leather hood sort of hanging around its head, and there’s a brand on its back. Do you happen to read Undercommon?

Gero  1:22:35

I do not.

Zak  1:22:37

I do, but I don’t read anything right now. Unless it’s in Braille, then just bring it over and I’ll read it.

Gero  1:22:45

I was gonna say, it’s a brand could you run his form over it and tell what it felt like?

Zak  1:22:50

You should.

Izzy  1:22:51

Just read out loud to you and you can translate?

Gero  1:22:53

No, I wouldn’t recognize it was Undercommon to call him over, though.

Izzy  1:22:57


Gero  1:22:58

I think that’s pretty much all Vaargas does.

Sam  1:23:00


Izzy  1:23:01

Yeah, Kera will check on everyone else, I guess, blinded people and be like,

Izzy (as Kera)  1:23:06

You still blind, right? Do you want like, uh, there’s nothing here. I can bring you like a frog corpse?

Sam  1:23:15

Well, there is a much more decomposed body in the pool, sort of stashed away. Looks like it’s been partially eaten, probably by this creature, stuck in the murky water.

Izzy (as Kera)  1:23:36

Okay, there’s two corpses. Do you want the second one? No? Good?

Jeff (as Asher)  1:23:40


Izzy (as Kera)  1:23:41


Jeff (as Asher)  1:23:42

But I suppose it would be only polite tp thank you for the offer.

Izzy (as Kera)  1:23:46

No problem.

Gero  1:23:49

Can we try to drag that uh…

Zak  1:23:53

Uh, what part of the rim is the corpse in, just for my own non-visual edification?

Sam  1:23:59

It’s on the north side of the room in the pool.

Zak  1:24:03

Okay, cool. Thank you.

Gero  1:24:04

Do we want to try to drag it to shore see if we can, if Kera knows it like she did the other one?

Izzy (as Kera) 1:24:12

I’m fine with that. Like, mildly traumatic, but you know,

Sam  1:24:18

Dragging this body out of the water, it’s in much worse shape than Parda. It looks like the creature has eaten most of it. And it’s not really recognizable anymore.

Izzy (as Kera) 1:24:32

I guess it’s good you killed this thing.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:24:35

Does it look like Khonnir?

Izzy (as Kera)  1:24:38

I don’t know.

Gero  1:24:40

Yeah, what’s? Can we tell what species it is at least, is there like enough skin left to know if it was like a human, elf, half orc?

Sam  1:24:48

That was humanoid. But the flesh is pretty ruined. It’s not anything dramatically different from human, but it’s hard to say

Gero  1:24:59

Vaargas’ll, uh, rifle through its, uh, clothes, I guess.

Sam  1:25:05

Well, what’s left of its belongings mostly are ruined, any armor this person was wearing has been sort of shredded by the monster. But in the belt pouch, this person has 42 Gold, a silver holy symbol with a, what looks like a sort of scythe made of bones as the symbol, and two potions.

Gero  1:25:37

Hmm. I’d like to roll a Knowledge: Religion on that. And I was about to say I’d give the potions to Asher to roll an alchemy, but that’s not exactly going to work.

Jeff  1:25:51

Maybe I could smell them.

Zak  1:25:52

Yeah, I mean, I don’t know…perception-based checks on potions are tasting/smelling, so I wouldn’t see why. I mean, it’s up to Sam, but I wouldn’t see why Asher wouldn’t have that as an alchemist.

Sam  1:26:07


Gerop  1:26:09

Does a 12 tell us anything about the bone scythe? Knowledge: Religion.

Sam  1:26:16

12 Knowledge: Religion tells you that I misspoke and it’s actually a bone pick. And that appears to be the symbol of the of the, of Zyphus, the god of accidental death. Which would make this an unholy symbol

Gero  1:26:37

He’s gonna kind of look and he goes,

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:26:39

This is either extremely ironic, or the gods have a very odd sense of humor.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:26:52

What do you mean?

Jeff (as Asher)  1:26:54

Yes, what’d you find?

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:26:56

Thi, uh, man…woman…person. Whoever it was that this creature attacked before us had the holy symbol of the god of accidental death on their body.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:27:13

They sound pretty religious, if you ask me. I’m blind still. Nothing’s funny.

Jeff (as Asher)  1:27:26

Yes, it’s difficult to determine how devout they are, by their remains. But what are those potions that you’ve put before my nose, perhaps I can recognize them.

Gero  1:27:37

So he’ll nose over to Asher to test out.

Jeff  1:27:41

It’s an 11 on the Neapolitan Ice Cream Dice, bringing it up to a 16 Craft: Alchemy?

Sam  1:27:49

16 Craft: Alchemy will tell you these are two cure light wounds potions, so replacing two out of three of the ones you just burned.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:28:00

Ah! Cure light wounds again. Those, apparently, will come in rather usefully.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:28:08

Ah, since we’ve used three-

Gero  1:28:11

Vaargas will not take one.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:28:12

You two-

Gero  1:28:13

One of those cuz he had to burn two, so he’s going to…

Zak  (as Brixbi) 1:28:17

I was gonna say you two can hold on to them. Vaargas, you’ve been in two of these two fights and well, I’m not exactly a man of melee prowess, I’ve yet to land a blow. I, you know, I’d hate to hold on to one of these. Even if I am just pouring it into you passed out mouth. Which I cannot see, because I am still blind. So hold on to that.

Gero  1:28:48

Vaargas will, uh, look at it and goes,

Gero (as Vaargas)  1:28:51

Are you sure? It’s –

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:28:54


Gero (as Vaargas)  1:28:55

Just, I’m in your debt already for the previous one.

Zak (as Brixbi)  1:28:59

Mate, does it look like I’ve done much of the heavy lifting since we’ve gotten in here? I’d say we’re about even. Just call it an investment in my own future as well.

Gero  1:29:11

He’ll hang on to one of the potions then.

Izzy (as Kera)  1:29:15


Sam  1:29:15

Okay. And as we’re sitting here in this dank cavern, far below the surface of the hill, and two of the four party members are blind – possibly permanently…I’m going to bed. So we will see you in Episode Three.

Jeff (as Asher)  1:29:36

I hope I can see you in Episode Three!

Izzy  1:29:41

You’ll be around.