Sam 0:00

Rannic falls into her, bleeding from a dozen stab wounds, and that’s the last push Parda needed. She drags her foot out from under her and turns, trying not to scream. Takes a step into the darkness. If she can get around the corner she can duck through the stalactites, pick them off one by one, maybe. They’re not that tough when they’re alone, right? Rannic grabs onto her leg as she steps away. Parda stumbles. She spins around and swings a wrapped fist as she goes. A sickening crunch, and the feel of a face giving way under her fist. Parda lets her next breath out in a primal scream. The bald, almost invisible monster people don’t shrink back. She can’t even tell which one she hit, they just keep coming. She turns again, get to the stalactites. Something cold bites into her back, and she knows it should hurt, but she’s past feeling the little things. She just has to get to the stalactites and make a stand. Ignore how heavy her wounds feel. Ignore the whimpering. They could at least have the decency to finish Rannic off. Push, one more step. And then another, and another, and another. A hard pain in her back. Persistent they are. She jumps the last five feet, putting everything she’s got into getting an arm on a rocky pillar, swinging herself around and making a stand. Daggers whip through the air behind her, but Parda’s got it now. Everything’s gonna be ok. She rocks her way back on her foot and squares up, dipping out of the way of an oncoming stab while she swings a massive uppercut into a skulk’s stomach. The creature stumbles back, coughing, interfering with the others as they try to press into the newly confined space. And then, from behind her, a few whispered words. Something explodes into view in every direction and nowhere all at once, massive spider webs. They coat the cave walls, catch her arms and legs, and she’s stuck. Slowed. She can see the daggers coming now, but she can’t do anything to stop them. She can’t move fast enough. This…is Pod Against The Machine.

*Intro Music* 1:50


Sam 2:23

Welcome back to Pod Against The Machine. The only podcast that specifically mentions its opposition to the machine in the title. Seriously, we checked, and I’m pretty sure everyone else is for it. Which is crazy. This is Sam, your host. Let’s go around the table once more and remind everyone who’s playing! Don’t all go at once.

Izzy 2:50

Oh, Jeff is being obstinate.

Zak 2:53

Give the people what they want.

Izzy 2:55

It’s a strike.

Jeff 2:57

I am–I was trying to. Trying to give them a fresh a fresh hot take on the intro.

Izzy 3:03


Gero 3:04

This is your curse.

Jeff 3:05

But it’s me, Jeff, with the old stale take. I’m here playing Asher Halekh, the sighted gunslinger and pop on over to you, Izzy.

Izzy 3:22

Fresh take twist. Yeah, now I’ve totally forgotten my name and my character’s, we’ll make that up on the fly. And hopefully it matches. Hi, I’m Izzy. I’m playing Kera, also sighted. But that hasn’t changed. See, I can’t go second. I can’t go second. I don’t even know who should go next. Now. I gotta quit the show.

Gero 3:46

Well, since we’re flipping things up, I think I’ve been going last every time so I’ll go next. Gero here, and I am still playing Vaargas, who, despite not being blind, is the least perceptive member of the party.

Zak 4:11 

And I’m playing Brixbi. I being Zak,that is, playing Bixby Redtail. Who, despite also being sighted at this juncture, is no more effective in combat than he was when he was blind.

Sam 4:23

Alright, for a quick recap of where we were last week. Miraculously, everyone’s sight came back after about an hour of poignant, poignant character moments and real deep emotional bonding. And I would be remiss if I did not award a sky medal to Izzy for Kera’s heartwarming stories of her relationship with our dear departed Parda. And then after finally departing from the half flooded cave, you all went south and found some junk. And found some fairly valuable watch batteries in the junk. And then you found a secret underground civilization of creepy hairless people who blend into walls. And those people were super sociable, and everyone became best friends immediately. Despite any murders that may or may not have taken place recently. They did hire you to clean out a mess of Gremlins, who fight fair and tensions were not high at all during that exchange. And now you are working on said Gremlins, who, as I’ve said, are super nice people. So as we pick up the action, we’re still in initiative order. We’re technically in the middle of a fight even though there are no Gremlins physically present. Asher has a spike lodged in his shoulder. And he is in the middle of his turn. So why don’t we kick it over to Asher?

Jeff 6:15

Thanks, Sam. Great to be back. Yeah, so I’m glad to Gremlins were really nice. This is a weird, crazy happenstance that I–that Asher just found a rock spike in his shoulder. Bummer. And that was my full, his full movement action. And he readied an action to fire at a hostile gremlin target, if one appears within 25 feet of his pistol, which he is wielding. I go first real good. And that’s the end of my turn.

Sam 6:54

We will kick it over to Kera.

Izzy 6:59

Yes, in keeping with our brand new world order, I will go next and probably not mess it up. Kera will move over. I think this, if she moves up one and then the diagonal thing, we said it’s like every other square you do 10 feet.

Sam 7:17

Yeah, every other diagonal counts as two squares.

Izzy 7:19

Okay, so she moves diagonal and then also through Brixbi’s square. I think about puts her at one, two, three, four, five. Yeah, that’s gonna put like 20ish feet, not on top of Brixbi, right next to him and hopefully there is not a trap there.

Sam 7:34

So far no trap.

Izzy 7:37

Awesome. So she’s gonna move there and do the same thing as everyone else and ready and action. If that thing comes back within 10 feet of her, she is gonna hit it as hard as she can.

Sam 7:51

Okay, and we’re back around to Vaargas, your readied action did not go off.

Gero 7:55

Okay. Yeah, Vaargas is going to assume that they’re probably in the direction that they trapped. So he is going to take one step to the north here, technically two steps at one step ahead of Asher to the north here, and then make a perception for traps. And that is an 18.

Sam 8:24

The way appears to be clear.

Gero 8:28

Okay, then he’s going to finish up that movement. Actually, he’s only gonna go up one further north, because he’s not trusting this next intersection without another check. So that will be his turn.

Sam 8:48

Okay. And all right. And now it’s Brixbi’s turn, your readied action also did not go off.

Zak 8:59 

Missing the closeness he was feeling with his warm and amicable companion Vaargas, he will follow his same path. A five foot step to the northwest, and then 10 more feet north to occupy his square. And he will do a perception check on the small tight passage to see if there any traps there. All right, we’re looking at a 17.

Sam 9:35

With a 17 it looks safe. You don’t see any traps.

Zak (as Brixbi) 9:40

All right. This path looks safe to me.

Sam 9:44

Now we’re back around to Asher.

Jeff  9:48 

Asher will call out to Brixbi and say,

(as Asher) 9:53

Ah good to hear I’ll be there something in the order of six seconds.

Jeff 9:57

And he’ll draw forth the cure light wounds potion he has from Dolga, and pop the cork and drink it, hoping to have saved it. But what are you going to do? That’s a three on the die, plus one. Four back of the nine he took from the totally like accidental nature spike. And that’s a full round turn.

Sam 10:32 

And now it is curious turn

Izzy 10:37 

Seeing that the rest of her friends have sort of circled around and maybe stepped out of immediate danger, Kera will drop her rage, gonna say she’s still upset, just not raging. And hopefully no one regrets that. So she’s visibly tired, fatigued mechanically. She’ll move up after Asher and in front of him. How many spaces is this? Two, three, four, five, six. Cool. So, she’s gonna move up just in front of Asher and behind Brixbi. And yep, still has her Lucy the Lucerne hammer. Bedazzled with glitter and ribbons. And, well, I guess she can still ready an action, if that thing comes back within 10 feet of her she will try to hit it. But you know, with less anger this time.

Sam 11:39

Okay, and as you all pile yourselves up in a nice line here, the Gremlin comes running down from the north and stops where at least Brixbi can see him, waves and goes

Sam (as a Gremlin) 11:51

Hee hee hee hee!

Sam 11:52 

and then takes off to his right into a little opening in the cave wall. And we’re back to Vaargas.

Gero 12:02

Vaargas is immediately going to assume this as some kind of trap because the last two times this happened somebody got stabbed by wall spikes. So he is going to take a single step forward and then make a perception for traps again, with a 15.

Sam 12:20

Everything seems fine.

Gero 12:24 

Okay, Vaargas is actually going to hold, or not hold, he’s going to ready an attack and, free action, he’s going to request that Brixbi take the lead, in case there are more traps. So he’s going to look behind him and say,

(as Vaargas) 12:48

You, Brixbi, maybe you should lead, they seem to be trying to lure us into another trap.

Gero 12:57

And that will end his turn.

Sam 13:00 

Right. Brixbi, you are up.

Zak 13:04 

So Vaargas is effectively checked to like the point of egress from this small passage here, these squares to our east. Correct? So knowing that Brix will move through Vaargas’s square to the east and then a five foot step to the northeast. And seeing that this opens up into a larger room, yeah, I think he’s gonna do one more perception check because I agree with Vaargas’s assessment. You know, up until this point, we’ve been lured  into a variety of snares. So yeah, he’s going to be checking the area to his East, northeast, North area, seeing kind of anywhere around him if there’s any danger. Excellent time to roll high, that is a dirty 20.

Sam 14:07 

With a dirty 20 as you step out, into this larger room, you’re on a kind of narrow ledge overlooking the rubble filled cavern. The far wall down below you appears to be made of smooth metal. It’s a dark grey kind of kind of looks like a cast iron type feel. There is a circular seam in it tightly closed. It barely, barely looks like a seam at all, but it sits just above the top of the rubble line. And you don’t see any traps in the immediate vicinity.

Zak (as Brixbi) 14:53 

Alright, it’s safe. Or, relatively so.

Sam 15:00 

Any other actions you want to take? You only used a five foot step.

Zak 15:06

Oh, oh yeah. Oh no, wait, I went through I took a five foot step and then in addition, I did a full 10 feet of movement. Yeah, and my search-y search. So  yet another exciting round for Brixbi comes to a close.

Sam 15:26 

Right, we are back up to Asher.

Jeff 15:29 

Awesome. Seeing that it is relatively safe, Asher will follow this super conga line of justice. And carefully trace Brixbi’s steps. Can I guess I couldn’t choose to like, well, I’m in your square now baby. And make you, like, not have any penalties. Is that, that’s not how scurrying swarmer works? That’s like a choice that you make there Brix.

Zak 16:00

Yeah, I have to move into someone’s square to do it. I don’t think anyone can move into mine and get the same effect.

Jeff 16:04

Oh, cool. That’s gotta be like a consensual swarming.

Zak 16:08


Jeff 16:09

All right, then. Then he will end five feet ahead of you. And die?

Sam 16:20 

From Asher’s position, he can see another Gremlin just sort of snuck up in a narrow passage off to the north. This Gremlin looks a little bit beefier than the other two Gremlins.

Jeff 16:36

Neat! Is that the last thing Asher sees before a spike Pierce was up in the skull.

Sam 16:41

So far, no spikes.

Jeff 16:43


Sam 16:44

You never know.

Jeff 16:45 

I don’t. Life is fleeting, burn a grit point. Asher will indeed focus his aim on this Gremlin, and take a shot.

Sam 17:01


Jeff 17:02 

Not great!

Jeff 17:05 

That is a 14 against touch and this thing’s tiny so probably misses.

Sam 17:11

Yeah, it gives you two tiny middle fingers and starts laughing.

Jeff 17:15 

It’s rude.

Sam 17:17

It’s very rude.

Jeff (as Asher) 17:18 

Yes, I’m appalled at your lack of civility.

Jeff 17:23 

That’s my turn.

Sam 17:25 

Kera is up.

Izzy 17:27 

Yeah. Okay, so Kera hears this gun goes off, and assumes there’s danger. Can–is there a way to see which squares we’ve checked for traps? Can I move to this one beside Vaargas? Did we–is that like, because of the proximity to where he’s standing? We’re good. Great. I’m getting nods, for listeners at home. Everyone says it’s fine. Okay, so she’s going to move. That’s like not at all helpful. Well, let’s move there. That’s three-ish squares. One, two, three, and I want to get all the way up there. I guess she can double move, so maybe we’ll do that. Is the square in front of Asher standable? It hasn’t been checked yet. But like, can people stand there? Or is that a rock wall?

Sam 18:22

Yeah, you can fit in that square.

Izzy 18:29 

Cool, with a question mark. Yeah, and I can’t make a perception check from way back here on whether that ground is safe, correct?

Sam 18:39

Too far away.

Izzy 18:41 

Yeah, okay. All right. Well let’s let’s, let’s go for it. Man, I really hope I don’t kill a character in the–well I guess we’re on episode four now so it’d be like fine. So yep, she’s standing on the question mark square and hoping that all goes well.

Sam 19:04 

I have a pretty mean question for you. What weapon is Kera currently holding?

Izzy 19:11 

She has Lucy the Lucerne hammer.

Sam 19:15

And her great sword is still on the ground?

Izzy 19:19 

Oh, yes?

Sam 19:22 

She cannot attack from five feet away. She needs to be 10 feet away.

Izzy 19:27

Great. That’s fine. I’m okay with that but it’s better than dying. Yeah, so that’s–I think that because that had to be a double move to go past people. So yeah, great. End my term alive.

Sam 19:40 

Score! That’s always a win.

Izzy 19:43 


Sam 19:44

All right, we’re back up to Vaargas

Gero 19:49 

Okay, so, is there anywhere I can move? Because you said to the east here it like slopes down to like, what did you say it was, like 10 feet down there’s bunch of rubble and stuff?

Sam 20:07

Yeah, this is a narrow ledge here.

Gero 19:11

So that’s not somewhere you could stand. Yeah, I guess what would make the most sense would be for Vaargas to step out here to the east. And pretend he doesn’t see this Goblin over here because I believe there’s a rock in the way so that is going to be his turn. I guess actually, he would once again ready an action to attack if anything comes within melee distance.

Sam 20:54 

Let’s see here. This little Goblin over here, or–I keep calling them goblins they are even smaller and more vicious looking than goblins is going to step into Kera’s square with impunity, because she’s got a big long weapon and can’t even hit it. And is going to that was a five foot step so it’s gonna full attack you. First with the short sword that’s only a nine to hit.

Izzy 21:24 

She is okay.

Sam 21:26

And it’s gonna make a bite. The bite is a 16.

Izzy 21:35 

Oh, no that less okay.

Sam 21:39

All right, this is this is the big damage here, one damage.

Izzy 21:46 

She looks uncomfortable.

Sam 21:48 

Well, that’s good. That’s what we aim for discomfort here. It’s the Pod Against the Machine way. And Brixbi is up.

Zak 22:00 

Brixbi seeing that someone is impinging on his small, ineffectual melee character who occupies squares thing is going to reassert his dominance by occupying Asher’s square to the north, just south of Kera and the Gremlin. It’s like a reverse game of chicken or something. And it’s going to take a full on attack. All right, that is a 21 with the rapier, but an eight with the tail blade.

Sam 22:34

Well, the rapier hits.

Zak 22:35 

Alright-y. And the rapier is one D4 minus one. Two points of damage, but four points of sneak attack damage. So six in total.

Sam 22:52 

Six in total. You feel like you just barely scratched it. It did do damage but it didn’t feel like 6 points of damage by any stretch of the imagination. And Asher is up.

Jeff 23:09 

Boy, it’s crowded in here. Asher will, you can see him sort of hesitate for a second. But he drops his pistol to the ground. It’s empty, so it’s not gonna probably go off and kill me. But he will draw a light mace out from his hip and swing it trying not to hit Kera, or crush a rat person between his desert thighs. 16

Sam 23:52

16 total is not going to do it.

Jeff 23:56 

Cool. Well, I tried, and really at the end of the day, isn’t that what’s important?

Sam 24:04 

Kera is up and has a little beefy monster amongst her legs.

Izzy 24:12 

And if I move that’s gonna provoke? Cuz I’m in its little cubby?

Sam 24:20

You could do a five foot step and it wouldn’t provoke.

Izzy 24:24 

Also would not be able to hit it. But–

Jeff 24:26

Tiny creatures don’t. They threaten zero feet. So I wasn’t sure if it was provoked no matter what.

Sam 24:34 

Like it only provokes in its own square, but I feel like a five foot step protects you from one square threatened space.

Izzy 24:43 

Okay. I’m gonna take a risk and try the full movement. First, I’m going to perceive. Oh, can I fit down this little passageway up to the north of here?

Sam 24:59

It’s a little tight, but you can fit.

Izzy 25:02

Cool. Okay, so I’m gonna see if there are bad things over there. That’s a 17 to perceive danger.

Sam 25:11

Looks like it’s clear over there.

Izzy 25:14

Cool. Going to take your word for it and I’m gonna move two squares.

Sam 25:19 

Its gonna slash at you on the way, 21 to hit.

Izzy 25:24 

Yeah, that’s gonna do it.

Sam 25:26 

Right. This is the beefy one. That is one damage.

Izzy 25:37

She still kind of sore. But on her feet. I was here. So this is one, two. Which doesn’t put her 10 feet away. If I move is that too far? I’m gonna see how far this is.

Sam 25:51 

Yeah, that’s 10 feet. That’s just gonna get like a little bit of cover.

Izzy 25:56 


Sam 25:57

Cuz it’s awkward.

Izzy 25:59

Yeah, okay, so she’s gonna squeeze into this little narrow chasm here so she can maybe have a chance of hitting it. She’s taken one point of damage. It’s, it’s, it’s slowly whittling away. And then she’s gonna turn around and swing. Still fatigued unfortunately. So that is just going to be a 13 plus four to hit. 17?

Sam 26:26

17 is not going to do the job.

Jeff 26:29

Do we give her flanking, since both Brixbi and I have melee weapons out?

Sam 26:33

Ah, you do. But sadly 19 doesn’t do it either.

Izzy 26:42 

That’s a real bummer. Is that the cover? I’m gonna say it’s the cover.

Sam 26:47

The cover is not helping you.

Izzy 26:49 

Okay, well, that’s my turn.

Sam 26:52

All right, and on the next turn instead of Vaargas coming up, a little creature is going to come scurrying out from between some rocks and clamber up the cliff face and into Vaargas’s square. So Vaargas actually has two shots that he gets. His readied action and an attack of opportunity, he’s got two shots at this thing.

Gero 27:17 

Cool, so I’m going to roll two d20. So, the readied action is… It has been more than a minute since our fight against the first Goblin, correct?

Sam 27:33

You’ve been in initiative the whole time. It hasn’t been 10 rounds. I think this is round seven.

Gero 27:38

Oh yeah, then that means this is still a plus four. So that is a 23 to hit.

Sam 27:46 

That’ll hit.

Gero 27:49 

And that is 7 points of damage.

Sam 27:56

Seems like a little bit broke through there.

Gero 27:59 

And the other one is probably not a hit that is 13. Okay.

Sam 28:08 

All right. And this little maniac is going to take a stab at you with its short sword that is a 24 to hit.

Gero 28:17 

That is a hit.

Sam 28:18

I don’t know why I’m bothering to roll the damage, it’s one damage. And as your prize you get another round against this little bugger in your square.

Gero 28:33 

Okay, he is going to do a full round attack. So the first thing he’s going to do is attempt to punch it again. And miss horribly with a natural, wait. That’s a natural nine, that’s still a miss because that’s still 13.

Sam 28:52

13 will not hit.

Gero 28:55 

And after that misses, then his fist is going to glow with that green light again, and he’s going to attempt to hit it with an acid splash. And that is…

Sam 29:11 

Do you need to roll the cast defensively on that one?

Gero 29:14 

Oh, yes, I do actually.

Sam 29:20 

I guess you could just take the AoO. It does big damage

Gero 29:23

Actually. Yeah, I don’t mind taking it, because I wouldn’t, I don’t mind losing spell either, it’s a cantrip.

Sam 29:30

Alright, it’s an 11 to hit you with a stab while casting.

Gero 29:37 

Okay, yeah, so that’s a miss. And the cast is not a hit. That is one point lower than his swing was. So he shoots a glob of acid at it and it just sails over it, and lands down in that pit on the bottom. And that is my turn.

Sam 29:49

The hole burns all the way to the darklands and a drider comes up. Now it’s a boss fight. Right we have this little boss type creature here, is going to, seeing how far away from it Kera is, and seeing that she totally whiffed, is going to climb into the square with Brixbi and Asher. And it’s going to take a shot at the rat. Or two shots as the case may be. 10?

Jeff 30:28

Do we get AoOs?

Sam 30:31

Yeah, actually, you both get AoOs.

Zak  30:40 

That is an 18

Sam 30:44

18 does not hit.

Jeff 30:45

What if he added my three? That’s right, a total of three. Would that hit?

Sam 30:53 

It would not

Izzy 30:56 


Sam 30:58

A 12 I assume does not hit Brixbi?

Zak 31:01 


Sam 31:02

All right. And with the bite that is an 11. So super effective, this guy.

Zak 31:11 

So small and dexterous.

Sam 31:13

You’re gigantic and dexterous. You are up.

Zak 31:19 

All right. Well, it’s a party in this square. Time to full attack. Rapier first. That is a no. Tail Blade is probably also a no that’s a 17. Gosh, that was an 18 on the die, too. Man, I am not gonna hit these things.

Sam 31:46

Asher, you are up.

Jeff 31:50 

Speaking of not gonna hit these things, I will–Asher will provoke an attack of opportunity by picking his pistol up off the ground. If the creature chooses to take it. I was told they’re nice.

Izzy 32:04

He did say that.

Sam 32:06

They’re pretty nice. That is a 20 to hit. Stab.

Jeff 32:11

Well stink

Jeff 32:15 

I just don’t know how much it’s gonna do and damage.

Sam 32:17

Yeah, it’s one damage.

Jeff 32:19

Oh man.

Sam 32:20

This guy can deal two damage. He just chooses not to.

Jeff 32:26 

Hey, I respect that. Asher will take the point of damage and then chamber a round into his pistol.

Sam 32:37 

And Kera is up.

Izzy 32:40 

Right, Kera is wondering if she should have not dropped out of rage because that to hit bonus would be super helpful. She will nonetheless take a five foot step forward back toward her Gremlin-y friend who I think is still under Brixbi, and roll to hit. Not great. That’s gonna be a 14 total.

Sam 33:11 

Yeah, real bummer.

Izzy 33:15 

That’s my turn.

Sam 33:20 

Let’s see this little Gremlin here that’s in Vaargas’s square does not like getting punched in the face. So it’s going to take a risk, and if I can actually get to it I’ll be back in a second Marius is going to run into the most–the new record holder for the most crowded square in the game. So, let’s see Vaargas, Brixbi, and Asher all get attacks of opportunity should they so choose.

Jeff 33:55 

Nah, I picked up my range weapon.

Zak 34:00 

Yeah, and I know an 18 doesn’t hit.

Sam 34:04

An 18 does hit this one.

Zak 34:06


Izzy 34:06


Zak 34:07

Alright, yeehaw. That is one D4 minus one. I rolled a one, for a one. Here comes sneak attack. That makes it a six with a five on the die.

Sam 34:19


Zak 34:21

So six in total.

Sam 34:25 

All right, a little bit of that creeps on through.

Jeff 34:31 

I think clearly what happened is I was intimidating it when I had a melee weapon out. And then as soon as I was like, you know, this isn’t–this isn’t fair to the Gremlins, you had the courage.

Sam 34:42

It’s so scared of you, that it’s gonna stab you with its short sword.

Jeff 34:46

Oh, oh, and we keep stepping on Gero’s AoO. I think he killed it.

Gero 34:52


Sam 34:54

Oh, you did hit it?

Gero 34:57

Yeah, yeah, it was a 22.

Sam 34:59

Oh, ah, for some reason I thought you missed. What was the damage on that 22?

Jeff 35:03


Gero 35:04


Sam 35:05

Six damage?

Izzy 35:07 

We’ll take it.

Sam 35:08

Alright, a little bit of that damage crept through, but it is still up. It looks pretty rough. It took a stab at Asher. Looks like the number 17.

Jeff 35:23 

And the 17 does not hit. At last. At last. He dodges out of the way, renewed with confidence holding his pistol in his hand.

Sam 35:35

Alright, Vaargas is back up. Oddly lonely all alone in his square.

Gero 35:40 

So yeah, there is nothing sharing this square with me anymore so I don’t have to cast defensively, and he’s just going to launch a glob of acid into that square with half a dozen of his allies in it and hope he hits this thing which its AC is probably about 40 right now with all of the bonuses is going to get there. That is not going to work. That is a nine.

Sam 36:11

Yeah, nine is not doing it. Despite the crowd in that square, we’re gonna say it just splatters against the wall. Not gonna hit you with any friendly fire. Back around to boss man, who’s gonna take a—a full attack. Do one for Brixbi and one for Asher. Short sword at Brixbi, that is a 20 to hit?

Zak 36:45

Oh yeah.

Sam 36:49

That’s normal damage is one, and sneak attack is five. That’s six damage. Cuz they have flanking. Two zero-reach gremlins actually managed to get a flank.

Zak 37:05 

All right. A, uh, good way to kick off taking damage on this podcast with over 50%. Glad we’re not playing massive damage rules, because ow.

Sam 37:21

And the bite at Asher is going to be a 19 to hit.

Jeff 37:26 

Yeah, that hits

Sam 37:28

Alright, one for the normal. And the sneak attack, uh, one more. Two damage total.

Jeff 37:36 

Whoo! Still up. Ow.

Sam 37:40

Brixbi, you are up.

Zak 37:42 

All right, I’m gonna try to return the favor to boss man. Full attack. Yeah, focusing fire. Rapier first. That is a natural 20. Natural 20!

Izzy 37:55

Thank god.

Zak 37:58 

Alright, rolling to confirm. I’m sorry everybody three on the die, I know it’s not gonna confirm. But at least I hit it. And so that is gonna be one point of rapier damage. And another five. Yeah, a lot of gears and shit on here. Yeah, that’s a five. Another five making that one effective, well, six points of damage. Tail blade’s coming through with the negative…I kid you not, hold on let me rotate my camera here. Does everyone see that?

Izzy 38:03 

For a second it looks like a 20.

Zak 38:35

It’s a second nat 20. It was not rolled to confirm, but it’s on a different die. But yeah, that is a 14, but minus one that makes that a 13. So I know that’s also not enough to confirm.

Sam 38:47

So not confirmed.

Zak 38:49 

But that is 1D2 minus one. So that’s one, and four on the die this time making that a five in total. So, god, two very ineffective nat 20s but that was crazy. All right, anyway, end my turn.

Sam 39:13

Alright, and Asher’s up.

Jeff 39:15 

Man. Not looking too great. This—this guy is wobbling on his feet. And seeing as how he would provoke from two, count two, creatures if he tried to shoot and or move, he’s gonna take a full withdrawl, and full withdraw back here. Two steps back to a known checkmark square on our Minesweeper Board of which squares are trapped. And, man, that’s gonna do it. Heck of a turn for my hero.

Sam 39:56

Alright, Kera is up. You have two gremlins and a rat crowding you.

Izzy 40:02 

Oh, yeah, okay. Well, I mean, she’s just gonna try and hit one of them again. I’m also not looking great, but she’s been worse. So let’s go for something else here. Come on, guys. That is 11 plus 4, 15.

Sam 40:22

That does not do it.

Izzy 40:31 

Yeah, that’s, that’s, that’s my turn. My turn But hey, she’s no longer fatigued.

Sam 40:35

Nice. You got that going for you.

Izzy 40:38 

Yeah, we’ll see.

Sam 40:40

Alright. Now, one of the two gremlins sharing the square with Brixbi is going to totally whiff on its attack. That’s a total of a ten. And with the bite, that’s a natural 20.

Zak 40:54 

Oh, boy.

Sam 40:58

Roll to confirm. That could go either way, that’s a 16 to confirm?

Zak 41:05 

Meets, beats. At least someone can confirm a critical here.

Jeff 41:14 


Sam 41:15

So that is going to be, you take two damage from that. The sneak attack does not get doubled, that’s three more. Total of five damage.

Zak 41:34 

Brixbi is now disabled. He’s standing at zero.

Sam 41:41

Alright, Vaargas is up. His new rat friend is wobbling on his feet, in a very bad spot.

Gero 41:48 

And he’s gonna see it and go,

(as Vaargas) 41:50

I told him he should have kept that potion

Gero 41:53

And he is not going to step forward, because he does not want to get in front of Asher and put even more targets between him and what he’s shooting at. So he’s just going to attempt to fire another glob of acid out with a different D20. Okay, there we go. 20, so 22. That is a natural 20 ranged spell attack.

Sam 42:24

That’s a natural 20, you said?

Gero 42:27 

That is a natural 20.

Sam 42:28

Roll to confirm.

Gero 42:31 

Yep, that is an 18.

Sam 42:33

18 versus touch?

Gero 42:38 

No, versus regular AC. Oh no, it is range touch. Okay. Yes it is.

Sam 42:45

Ok, so which one are you going after? Going after the boss man, or the slightly less beefy one?

Gero 42:55 

Probably, you know now that it’s a natural 20 I want to say boss, but going back to what I was thinking at the start of this turn, I don’t want to lie. He was absolutely going for the little one. But I wish he wasn’t.

Sam 43:09

Was that with the minus four for precise shot?

Gero 43:14 

Oh, no, it was not so the first one would have been in 18, and the confirmation then would have been a 14, so that might not confirm.

Sam 43:24

So it doesn’t confirm, but the nat 20 still hits. So roll your D3.

Gero 43:31 

Thank you for keeping me honest. I completely forgot that I am firing into melee. Okay, three, plus…Actually not, plus nothing it’s a cantrip, so just three. So that is three acid.

Sam 43:49

Alright, that crumbles one of the gremlins. The smaller of the two hits the ground, burns off his face, and falls down at Brixbi’s feet.

Izzy 43:59 


Sam 44:00

Unfortunately, the beefier of the two gremlins is still standing in that square. And he really doesn’t have a choice but to go after the rat man.

Jeff 44:13 

There’s always a choice.

44:15 Sam

That’s going to be an 18 to hit.

Zak 44:19 

18 does it.

Sam 44:22

That’s going to be one damage.

Zak 44:27 

All right. Brixbi is down.

Sam 44:29

Brixbi goes down. It’s still gonna go for the bite, cuz it is a jerk. And that is a five to hit prone unconscious Brixbi, which I think still doesn’t hit.

Zak 44:45 

Yeah, I can knock on all those conditions

Sam 44:47

With the size alone, a 5…

Zak 44:52 

Yeah, I don’t think so either.

Sam 44:53

Even with unconscious and prone.

Zak 44:56 

I mean, it is the AC of a square and I’m essentially just the square right now. I’m kidding. Don’t kill me.

Sam 45:05

Well you are up at a mean negative one. And it’s your turn, so, roll to stabilize.

Zak 45:13 

All right, I am rolling a D20 plus my con mod here. That is an 18 on Big Pink, plus my two con mod brings me to a 20.

Sam 45:24

Ok, Brixbi is not currently dying. So Asher, you are up.

Jeff 45:24 

so I think between episodes three and four, did Brixbi go and take that cool, cool trait the Vaargas has so you can pop back up and stab this guy.

Zak 45:40 

Shh, don’t tell anyone.

Izzy 45:43 

This is the time.

Jeff 45:44

It was a retraining, it was legal.

Sam 45:45

Everyone has it now.

Jeff 45:48 

Here’s a bonus campaign trait, thanks Sam. I, well, Asher  feels terrible because he backed out, and Brixbi fell. However, he’s no longer firing into melee. So Asher will kind of grit his teeth and speaking of grit, burn another grit point, to focus his aim on this Gremlin and says,

(as Asher) 46:13 

He may have fallen to the ground. But my friend will not for this day.

Jeff 46:19 

Going back to the portal dice, that’s a natural 20!

Sam 46:27

Alright, roll to confirm.

Jeff 46:30 

Don’t mind if I do. Natural 18 to confirm. All right. So that makes it a 24 against touch AC.

Izzy 46:40

take it out.

Sam 46:41

I believe that is a confirmed times four gun critical.

Jeff 46:47 

Oh thank god. So that is going to be four d8 plus four. And my focused aim ability lets me add my charisma modifier. I’m gonna guess that’s not multiplied it on a crit. Usually? I don’t know.

Sam 47:07 

Is it precision damage? I can tell you that it’s almost certainly not going to matter.

Jeff 47:17 


Sam 47:18 

While I looked that up, why don’t you roll your damage.

Jeff  47:23 

Oh, sure, don’t mind if I do. I have 4 d8 here, gotta always be prepared. Let’s see here three plus one is four, plus five is nine, plus seven, 16 plus four is 20. If we’re just adding my charisma modifier. So it’s on attacks. It doesn’t say it just says I get a bonus to my damage rolls since it’s my damage roll that might just be multiplied.

Sam 47:58

Yeah, I would say it is based on this because like, with an alchemist, when they get bonus damage, it specifically says this is not added.

Jeff 48:08

Nice, then that will, that would be plus 12. So 32 points of damage to save his companion.

Sam 48:19 

Alright, why don’t you tell us what it looks like when you critically murder the leader of the Gremlin tribe.

Jeff 48:29 

Asher, as I as I alluded to, he, he hated to have stepped away leaving Brixbi there, but he knew it was his best chance to get a shot. So he, he grips this pendant around his neck, squints his left eye close. Fire, aims the pistol carefully, and gets this bullet shooting straight out around his fallen rat companion. Right between the eyes of this Gremlin.

Sam 49:10 

Horrible boss of the Gremlins, who you know has a name and a tragic backstory and is a very sympathetic character who plants spikes and murders people for fun, falls to the ground, bullet through its head. We’re out of initiative.

Izzy 49:31 

Hey, thank God.

Gero 49:33 

So, Vaargas will immediately step up and feed his potion to Brixbi.

Zak 49:40 

Ready to do the d8 roll here. Oh, yeah, that is a big eight we got here on this diehard dice, that I will not actually show off.

Jeff 49:53

Oh, awesome.

Zak 49:53

So we’re looking at nine points of damage. Wait, no. The opposite. Oh god. No, no, he killed himself!

Izzy 49:59

No, no, no.

Gero 50:02 

And Brixbi is permanently dead.

Izzy 50:04

Hard pass.

Sam 50:05


Jeff 50:07

That was a potion of inflict late wounds. He did have an unholy symbol.

Zak 50:10

Well, no take backs. I’m gone guys. Sorry.

Sam 50:13

Hate to see it.

Izzy 50:14 

It’s canon.

Sam 50:15

Alright. So Brixbi is up. You are in this weird room where there is a pile of junk down below and a metal wall.

Zak 50:25

I envision, he does the “whoah, whah, whoa, whuh”, right touching himself kind of over, realizes he’s still covered in his own blood. But most of it is back inside his body and looks up at Vaargas and he’s like,

(as Brixbi) 48:19

See, told you you should have hung on to that potion for me.

Zak 50:42 

He just smiles, and coughs up more blood. Tries to get up. He doesn’t. Then does get up. There we go.

(as Brixbi) 50:57 

Yeah. Is there anything on this thing? Besides bits of me and bits of it?

Zak 51:05 

I think he checks the body of the Gremlin. That’s probably polka dotting his face mostly at this point.

Sam 51:11

Yeah, you’ve got, between the three of them, there’s three tiny short swords.

Zak 51:20 


Gero 51:22 

And Vaargas is gonna remind Kera to get her sword back at the last intersection.

Izzy 51:31

Yeah, when you, when you like say her name, she doesn’t appear to hear you at first. She’s just staring at Brixbi. Like maybe a couple times. She’s like,

(as Kera) 51:40

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. I know. Thanks.

Izzy 51:43

And she’ll go get it.

Zak 51:46 

So in this room, we see the glowing metal door to the east, that pit that kind of goes down, and a passage the South which could potentially just lead us right back to the skulks. I mean, I’m happy to take my newfound mortality for granted. And, you know, get on my butt and just slide down very non-gracefully, the side of this sand wall, grade to the bottom and begin to approach the metal door walking slowly, checking for traps. I can roll a perception if you would like?

Sam 52:30 

Yeah, go for it.

Zak 52:35 

Twelve on the die, plus seven, unless it is a high tech or mechanical trap. So, yeah, that’s a 19 unless it’s a high tech or mechanical trap and then it’s 20.

Sam 52:48 

Yeah, it looks clear. This just seems to be a pile of rubble that looks like the other piles of rubble you’ve already come across, probably the hoard of stuff that Gremlins have stolen from the skulks over time.

Jeff 53:05 

Asher will call down to Brixbi and say,

(as Asher) 53:08

First of all, I’m glad you’re alive, my new friend. Second of all, perhaps since we’ve fulfilled end of the bargain, we might return to the skulks for some of that treasure that I recall definitely being informed of, since I wouldn’t have heard it firsthand not being a part of that conversation, but definitely filled us in on which of course. Perhaps some of the treasure may help heal us, as I for one, am doing quite poorly. We seem to have ourselves in a bit of a situation, with two fistfuls of trouble.

Zak (as Brixbi) 53:50

This is true. I am living exclusively on the kindness of strangers right now, and I don’t want to take that for granted, but—

Zak 54:00

And you can see him just continuing to get distracted and staring at this big metal wall, back at the party. And then just hangs his rat head and pads back towards everybody looking back at the wall over and over. He’s very excited about this.

(as Brixbi)  54:18

You’re right, we should go back. But seriously, thank you for reviving me.

Zak 54:25

And he puts his paw on Vaargas’s knee, thigh area outside of it. Friendly, friendly slap. All good, good game. It really just got worse.

Izzy 54:40 

Just a quick grope.

Jeff 54:42 

Just an affectionate reach around.

Gero 54:47 

And Vaargas just kind of looks down at him and says,

(as Vaargas) 54:50

The next time that someone tells you to hold on to your healing, hold on to your healing.

Zak (as Brixbi) 54:58

It’s true, but it wouldn’t have done a whole lot of good for me, if I had it on me. Just saying, looks like we got each other’s backs there, chum.

Gero 55:11 

He just keeps looking at you.

Zak 55:16 

But our ever-wise gunslinger was quite correct. There was in fact treasure waiting for us.

Sam 55:29 

If you’re heading back to the skulks, which way are you all going?

Zak 55:34 

The exact way we went, in reverse.

Izzy 55:39 

Walking backwards.

Gero 55:42 

Still checking for traps anyway because we don’t know where that third one was for like 90% of that fight.

Sam 55:48

Watching you. So far, everybody seems safe.

Gero 55:54

I wouldn’t put it past him to be resetting the old traps.

Sam 55:59 

Wow, Asher was really fast there at the end.

Jeff 56:03 

It’s that 30 feet of movement speed. You know, you think about it. That’s what I hear.

Sam 56:10 

Alright, as you all traverse the area through the traps you’ve already triggered and back into the lair of Sef, the leader of skulks, she hops down off of her rubble pile when you appear, to just…

(as Sef) 56:28 

Have you chased them off?

Jeff (as Asher) 56:31 

Better than that.

Jeff 56:34 

He’ll throw the three short swords, the tiny shorts down at his feet, which he definitely picked up and say,

(as Asher) 56:42

They won’t be troubling you anymore.

Sam (as Sef) 56:46 

Very good, very good. They’ll be back. They can jump between the dark lands and this place much easier than we can, but this will keep them off for a time, and we do appreciate it. They’re nothing but a nuisance.

Sam 57:07 

She heads into her makeshift hut, rattles some things about comes back with a pouch. And she says, hold on a sec,

(as Sef) 57:17

Deal’s a deal. I believe you’ll find this payment fair.

Sam 57:24 

And she hands over a jingly pouch.

Izzy (as Kera) 57:28 

You have anything in the way of, let’s say healing people? I think my friends and I kind of took a beating from those things that you couldn’t handle on your own.

Sam 57:38 

Why don’t you roll diplomacy, if you want?

Izzy 57:44 

Okay. That’s a six. Total.

Sam 57:53 

A six total? She looks at you and says,

(as Sef) 57:59 

I believe if you’re resourceful enough to find your way through a nest of Gremlins, you can find your way to your own healing. We’re not running a charity here.

Zak (as Brixbi) 58:12

Yeah, be a very weird charity. If you were running one down here. With all the traps, and…

Sam (as Sef) 58:23 

It would be thoroughly practical. That’s what I’m saying, Why, why would anyone do that?

Jeff (as Asher) 58:29 


Jeff 58:30

and Asher will bluster a bit and say,

(as Asher) 58:35 

Well, we do appreciate this generosity of coin. My, my half-orc friend is right. We risked our lives for something you couldn’t handle. And not only are we resourceful enough to defeat these Gremlins, we could perhaps see to it that we keep the surface dwellers out, keep them from entering your domain. That surely would be worth its weight and healing, and it’d be far from a charity.

Jeff 59:08

And that is a hard bluff. 21 total.

Sam 59:21 

She looks at Asher, and seems to think about his words for a bit, and she heads back into her tent and grabs a couple things, and comes out with two potions. And she’ll hand them over. Goes,

(as Sef) 59:40

Here, but this is a deal I will hold you to. No other surface dwellers may come through here. Just the four of you.

Jeff (as Asher) 59:50 

Of course. I will, I will, so long as I return live, I will make sure that I will–I will keep them out. Or my name isn’t Sanvil Trett.

Sam 1:00:04 

She nods knowingly says,

(as Sef) 1:00:08

Yes, yes, Sanvil Trett. You suck, Sanvil Trett.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:00:11 

You suck as well, Sef.

Sam (as Sef) 1:00:13

So I’ll hold you to your word.

Izzy 1:00:16 

Kera has to turn and face the back wall. She’s like,

(as Kera) 1:00:19 

I–excuse me.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:00:21

I would like to add an important addendum to that. That also includes anybody that we find down here that we’re taking out, that is a surface dweller, they are also subject to this treaty. No new ones in, just the ones that are in here. Let’s get them out, yeah? Also…

Sam (as Sef) 1:00:46 

If they’re already in here, then yes, they can. They can go out they can’t come back.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:00:51

It’s fine. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to visit down here again, but I think they’ll live. That said…

Sam (as Sef) 1:00:58 

I’m just saying, this is turning into a high traffic area. There’s too much logistically for me.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:01:08

I know, with running a charity down here you need to focus. That said, in the other room, there’s a big…

Zak 1:01:10

His eyes get all bulging and rat-like,

(as Brixbi) 1:01:13

…metal wall. What is that?

Sam 1:01:23 

And, she smiles, and she just says,

(as Sef) 1:01:27 

I assume that’s what all of you are coming down here for. Beyond is a strange, strange place indeed. But, it holds only death. I would not recommend you go in there. You are unlikely to return. I imagine the purple haired woman and hers, they’re all dead somewhere beyond there. Along with the man who killed most of my tribe and his people.

Zak (as Asher) 1:01:56

Do you know anything about opening this door? This wall? I saw a seam.

Sam (as Sef) 1:02:03 

We’ve opened both of the doors in the past, there’s one to the south of here as well, amongst our camp. The doors open readily, or at least they used to. We haven’t tried them since we found, met what lurks on the other side.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:02:22

And what is that, exactly?

Sam (as Sef) 1:02:24 

I told you, death. The dead walk in there. They do not stop.

Zak 1:02:34 

With that further clarification of the generalized death becoming much more specific undeath, Brixbi will incline his head back up at his companions.

(as Brixbi) 1:02:47 


Izzy (as Kera) 1:02:48

We came this far, perhaps we should keep going.

Zak 1:02:54 

Does this totally fantasy-style stopwatch, that was given to us by the cleric of Brigh, tell us exactly how long we have left on this water breathing?

Sam 1:03:10 

Your carefully wound stopwatch would probably tell you that you, you’ve burned at this point two and a half to three hours of your water breathing. You’re about halfway through.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:03:22 

I’ll be honest, I for one am also a bit curious. So what lies behind that hatch? Perhaps we take just a gentleman’s peek. And if the way seems clear, we can progress a bit further before we need to return which,

Jeff 1:03:41

and he’ll look to Sef,

(as Asher) 1:03:46 

To be, to be fair, we may need to leave and return ourselves. We just promised that I would do everything in my power to keep other surface dwellers from coming, but, for—in order for us to survive, we would need to leave to get healing, rest, etc. So…

Sam (as Sef) 1:04:07 

Yes, we’ve, we’ve established that you’re allowed to come and go, you have safe passage. Now that we have a peace treaty. You can come and go, but keep it reasonable. We have to sleep at some point and you know, can’t just have people coming and going at all hours and having loud parties and whatnot.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:04:30 

No, no, we–we understand this a provisional hall pass of sorts. We won’t violate curfew or anything like that.

Sam (as Sef) 1:04:39 

We appreciate your considerations.

Izzy (as Kera) 1:04:43 

We can put up a sign, and it’ll be very intimidating. I myself have some skills and drawing, not officially, but I consider myself something of an artist. So maybe just a picture of some knives. I think will do it.

Sam (as Sef) 1:05:02 

Ah yes, knives are very scary. Some say that the scariest thing that you eat with.

Izzy (as Kera) 1:05:09 

Who says that?

Sam (as Sef) 1:05:12 

People some wise people you wouldn’t know them.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:05:18 

Can you tell us of any other dangerous, besides walking unlife?

Sam (as Sef) 1:05:27 

We don’t go through the passages. We don’t go beyond those doors. Seeing the dead walk is enough for us.

Gero (as Vaargas) 1:05:39 

What do you know about a creature with three legs?

Sam (as Sef) 1:05:45

I know nothing. The dead beyond, they, they have four arms. But, some might try and claim that the man who slew many of us came through with a metal creature with three legs, but I did not see it myself.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:06:06

Well, do you know anything about…

Zak 1:06:10

And he turns back to the party, and makes the very easy to recognize international hand gesture for “sterling silver unholy symbol of a skull pierced by a bone pick”. You know just one of these. And yeah this thing does that. Can we, can we produce it to see if,

(as Brixbi) 1:06:32

they know anything about Zyphus and this right here.

Zak 1:06:36 

“This” being missing.

Gero 1:06:38 

Vaargas will take it out and hand it over to Brixbi, and he can show it to them.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:06:44 

We found this as well. Have you ever seen it before?

Sam (as Sef) 1:06:49 

Doesn’t look familiar to me. Looks pretty metal though.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:06:57 

Yeah, alright. Well it was worth, worth a try.

Zak 1:07:01 

He hands it back to Vaargas.

Gero 1:07:04 

Who will tuck it away again. Then I think he’ll say,

(as Vaargas) 1:07:08 

Well, we can check beyond this door. See what we see. If it looks like the passage is safe enough, as

Gero 1:07:24 

He looks at Asher for a second, you can tell he’s kind of not quite sure,

(as Vaargas) 1:07:27

Asher said.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:07:30


Gero (as Vaargas) 1:07:32 

We can, excuse me as Sanvil said. You know, I’m still meeting all of you.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:07:40

Of course. I did meet an Asher, though. In town, handsome devil.

Gero (as Vaargas) 1:07:47 

Yes, I met him as well. I’m terrible with names. But as Sanvil said, we can see how dangerous it looks. And then I think it would make the most prudent sense to head back to town for healing and a refill on our water breathing.

Izzy (as Kera) 1:08:12 

That’s, I believe the term “gentleman’s peek” was used, which I, for one, am excited about.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:08:20 

Excellent. Yes. And to be better gender inclusivity, I should have said gentle person’s peek. I apologize, Kera.

Izzy (as Kera) 1:08:29 

Oh, I’m open to all sorts of experiences. Oh, I wish I hadn’t said that.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:08:35 

As do I.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:08:40 

Right, well, we’ve managed to make good solid, non-awkward conversation in this room, both with this person and in front of them.

Sam (as Sef) 1:08:55 

Yes, that was all very, very educational. You all suck. Goodbye.

Izzy 1:09:02 

Let’s go check out the door.

Sam 1:09:05 

Now, Sef mentioned that there are actually two doors. There’s one to the south and then there’s the one you saw in the north. Which one are you heading towards?

Izzy 1:09:14 

We have a safe path to the one up north, assuming nothing has reset itself.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:09:19 

My thoughts exactly, Kera.

Sam 1:09:24 

Alright. What path are you taking up to the door in the north?

Izzy 1:09:29

The same one as before?

Sam 1:09:32 

I should have erased all those check marks while you’re talking. It would have made this a lot more menacing. For the listeners at home, they keep taking the exact same path because they littered it with check marks like a Minesweeper board.

Zak 1:09:49


Jeff 1:09:49

Some might say it was an effective stroke of genius.

Zak 1:09:56


A lot of perception checks were poured into each and every one of those. So well, you see that same bug-eyed, covetous look cross Brix’s face. And he looks at the circular seam. And I guess he will like roll a perception check on the door. See if he sees an easy way to open the door, as well as any visible traps, even though he was told there wasn’t anything. That is going to be a 13. A 14 for high tech and mechanical traps.

Sam 1:10:37 

There don’t appear to be any traps. This item does appear to be mechanical, and high tech in nature. I would say you probably want a knowledge engineering to try to figure this thing out.

Jeff 1:10:53 


(as Asher) 1:10:56 

Is this, is this glausite?

Zak 1:11:00 

Yeah, I don’t know if you want to do separate roles, Asher if you want me to aid you.

Jeff 1:11:05 

Yeah, separate roles. I don’t think the listeners heard me nodding, oddly. But that is a total of a 12.

Zak 1:11:14 

Ooh, 18 on the die, plus five makes it 23. That makes sense for Brix. This is his thing.

Sam 1:11:20

After looking over this wall and the seam in it, which does indeed appear to be glausite, Brixbi is fairly sure that this has actually been locked from the inside. Messing with it, you know, just sort of trying to poke at it and prod and try maybe a lockpick along the seam, or running like a dagger along the seam, it seems to be sealed tight.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:11:54 

Well, I’ll be honest, I don’t have a lot of experience opening things like this, but I’d say that if any of the four of us are going to do it, well, without bashing it with a hammer over and over again, it’s gonna be me. I don’t think we can get in here. If there is another way in, maybe we should go and find it.

Izzy (as Kera) 1:12:21 

Well, she said there was another door, right?

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:12:23 

Yeah, to the south.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:12:26 

Well, perhaps we should return and trace our route through their camp, and see if even one of them would be willing to guide us.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:12:37 

It’s wise, and cowardly I like it. I like the combination of those two things often.

Jeff 1:12:48 

At that Asher looks taken aback.

(as Asher) 1:12:54 

I didn’t think my practicality was cowardice.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:12:58 

Oh, I’m joking. I’m joking.

Sam 1:13:02

And coming back down here, Sef’s like,

(as Sef) 1:13:03

What do you want? Argh!

Gero 1:13:07 

It’s like hey, us again. Can you come with us this time?

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:13:13

You mentioned there was another door.

Sam (as Sef) 1:13:18 

Yes, just trhough our camp. Just head down off the ledge and take a, take a left and it’ll be along the wall there.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:13:29



Were we gonna ask for a guide? Or do we not think we can talk them into that?

Jeff (as Asher) 1:13:38 

Well, I wouldn’t know.

Gero 1:13:40

Oh, there’s one.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:13:41

Brixbi seems to refer to you as his friend me as a coward. I’d hate to lead us into an even more precarious situation by, by asking someone to help through their own territory. That would just be, why that would just be running away with my tail between my legs, should I had one.

Izzy (as Kera) 1:14:03

We don’t mind asking.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:14:03 

I’ll lead the way.

Jeff 1:14:05

And he’s already off, leading the way, boldly, to his certain death.

Izzy 1:14:13 

Kera will rush to catch up. And as she walks by, she’s like,

(as Kera) 1:14:17

You suck.

Sam (as Sef) 1:14:19 

Yes, yes, you suck. You suck.

Sam 1:14:22 

Now heading down into the largest room in the cavern that you’ve come across, you do find that the eastern wall is made of this same dark grey metal. Here the expanse is more pitted and scorched looking. Like it’s been, I mean, it’s more exposed over here. Maybe it’s just been hit by water more. But it still looks quite solid. And there’s a strange circle right around where you have gathered for some reason. About five feet off the ground. Looks very much the same as the one to the north.

Jeff 1:15:09 

Like a hatch, possibly?

Sam 1:15:12 

Like a possible hatch.

Jeff 1:15:14

Well, I’ll roll a knowledge engineering then.

(as Asher) 1:15:21 

perhaps we should look separately, I may contaminate the site with my trembling, cowardly fingers.

Jeff 1:15:31 

So natural 15, for a 21.

Sam 1:15:38 

Well, the cowardly Asher is the one ahead of the game here, and realizes that this door here has a simple release and it slides right open. When prompted.

Izzy 1:15:55 

As the door swings or slides or somethings open, Kera will lean over to Brixbi and be like,

(as Kera) 1:16:01

You should apologize to him.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:16:04 

You’re right. Asher, look down at my tiny, very serious face right now. You with your gun, and your cool gunslinger witticisms, just intimidate me so much that I project my cowardice on to you. Now, would you like to step into the door first?

Jeff (as Asher) 1:16:12 

I accept your apology as I understand that my, my swagger could be intimidating. I don’t mean to do it intentionally. It’s subconscious. But yes, all is well.

Jeff 1:16:50 

And he’ll step through the door, pistol drawn.

Sam 1:16:56 

It’s a little bit of a climb for Brixbi, everyone else can make it up there without much of an issue.

Sam 1:17:04 

It leads you into a strange hallway where the walls, floor, and ceiling of this slightly curved hallway are made of a smooth dark gray metal. Panels of lighter material run along the ceiling eight feet above. To the north and south the tunnel is blocked by walls of metal junk and rubble, while a doorway sits to the east.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:17:31 

Never seen anything quite like this place

Jeff 1:17:35 

And Asher’s almost as excited as Brixbi was looking up at the north, as he too has spent plenty of time looking and searching and scavenging for things in his own right.

(as Asher) 1:17:48 

What treasures lay beyond, I wonder?

Zak 1:17:52 

Yeah, Brixbi is definitely just amazed with this initial foray as well, just the metal on the walls and the floor. He’s just, you know, nose to the ground, kind of examining every inch around him, but pulls himself away, realizes there’s a task at hand and perceives to the east to see if he can see any danger or traps, before his party continues on. 11 on the die makes that an 18. A 19, If it is high tech or mechanical traps.

Sam 1:18:33 

There don’t appear to be any traps. So can you see yourselves? Can you see anything?

Zak 1:18:45

It’s a very large map to navigate.

Gero 1:18:49

I’m already very zoomed in and my token is still very tiny.

Sam 1:18:53 

You should now all be able to see your hallway. And as you open the door at the edge of that rubble-choked hallway, you find another very similar looking one. A narrow hallway with this same sort of dark gray metal panels with lighter panels on the ceiling. And sitting in the middle of this hallway, is a strange three legged metallic being, sitting completely motionless, just a few feet away from you.

Izzy 1:19:30

What are the chances it stays motionless if we get closer to it? Because I think very low.

Zak 1:19:37

Could we tell anything about it from this distance with a knowledge check?

Sam 1:19:42 

You could do a knowledge engineering on it.

Zak 1:19:45

Alright, big pink. That is only a 15 from Brix.

Jeff 1:19:51

All right, let’s roll that knowledge engineering here. For what it’s worth, I am treated as though I possess a technologist feat for the purposes of identifying alien creatures, if this is maybe alien. That’s another natural 15 for a 21 engineering.

Sam 1:20:13

Okay. And Brixbi does have the technologist feat or no?

Zak 1:20:16

Yeah, I have this, I just had the full on technologist  feat.

Sam 1:20:21

Because this creature wouldn’t be considered alien. It is however, a technological being. This is something that Brixbi has heard tell of, a repair drone. And it appears to be dormant. You can ask a couple questions on this one.

Zak 1:20:42 

All right. special attacks?

Sam 1:20:45

A repair drone has a special polymer net that it can usually fire off to detain people. Other than that, it just normally has its hands for slamming.

Zak 1:21:06 

Right, and special defenses.

Sam 1:21:11 

As a construct, it has your normal construct immunity to it mind affecting effects, enchantments, that sort of thing. It is capable of repairing itself, or repairing other robots.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:21:28 

Right. Asher, you see that thing up ahead. You know as much as I do about these sorts of things, that’s a, that’s a drone. It can repair itself and other machines, but it doesn’t appear to be working right now. Now, see the sentence I said just prior to that. This does seem to answer your “what has three legs” question, Vaargas.

Gero (as Vaargas) 1:22:01

Yeah. This thing must have been here a long time if it’s on those cave paintings in the entrance.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:22:08

That’s true, unless skulks did that. They didn’t seem particularly bright, nor advanced. Though, you may be right. This, who knows how long this has been here. I’ve only heard about these things.

Gero (as Vaargas) 1:22:24 

Well, their leader claims to have not heard of it. But I wouldn’t exactly trust her very much. So you could be right.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:22:35

If we could restore this drone and keep it from harming us, it could be incredibly useful and valuable to have.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:22:43

I would agree, especially for the people of Torch.

Gero (as Vaargas) 1:22:47

Maybe it could even fix whatever is wrong with the torch itself. If we can get it up and running.

Izzy (as Kera) 1:22:52

We should try to fix it then. I, I can’t really do anything here but decent at, like, a craft “quote” blacksmith, should that come up.

Zak 1:23:05

I know there’s a specific craft mechanical.

Jeff 1:23:07

I know there’s a craft clockwork. This might be different.

Zak 1:23:11

Yeah, I know those two things are exclusive.

Sam 1:23:14

Yeah, it’s considered totally different from clockwork.

Jeff 1:23:17


Gero 1:23:18 

I imagine a craft weapons would not help much.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:23:23

Nor would craft alchemy. But perhaps someone at the temple of Brigh may have the skills and the knowledge to bring this drone back.

Gero (as Vaargas) 1:23:32

Would we be able to bring someone from the temple here, though? Wasn’t the deal you made with the skulks no new humans?

Jeff (as Asher) 1:23:41

I did say no surface dwellers, yes. But if we are able to transport this drone out, it would not need to have water breathing in order to return the Torch. Between the four of us, I imagine we have the strength necessary.

Gero 1:23:57 

Would we have the strength necessary? What, would that be like a perception to try to figure out exactly how heavy this thing might be from looking at it.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:24:04

Just try and pick it up chunk punch. What are you waiting for?

Gero 1:24:08

Is it man sized?

Sam 1:24:10

Yeah, it’s, it’s a medium creature.

Gero 1:24:12

Yeah, so its…

Sam 1:24:12

So it’s about the size of a person. And it’s metal, so, theoretically, pretty heavy.

Gero 1:24:18

Yeah, that’s kind of what I was thinking. I’m like, even with four of us, trying to think of us dragging that thing up a water tunnel.

Jeff 1:24:27

Rope, man.

Sam 1:24:29 

And it just looks pretty heavy. It’s metal.

Gero 1:24:33 

I’m just trying to think like, I’m imagining what I’m picturing my head. I know, you showed us the picture of it. But I’m thinking of, and I can’t think of the name right now. But the three wheeled robots from the Fallout series that have the shoulder, shoulder missile launchers that are like the size of a person, which weigh about two tons in that game.

Izzy 1:25:01 

That’s a lot of tons.

Jeff 1:25:03

If we are officially partnering with Bethesda, I look forward to our swag. But we could try and tie ropes to it or something. I don’t know.

Zak (as Brixbi) 1:25:12

It’s true. We also have to see that it’s not working first, before we drag it out. Maybe we’ll get lucky. You know, come with us.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:25:21


Izzy (as Kera) 1:25:22 

Yeah, what happens if we just poke it some? Which is, I guess, a question that is best asked by doing it.

Jeff (as Asher) 1:25:30


Jeff 1:25:31

Asher, chambers a round. Going to say it on air that he reloaded.

(as Asher) 1:25:36

I can certainly watch whoever’s back it is to attempt to poke this thing.

Izzy 1:25:43

Did we check for traps in this hallway yet?

Sam 1:25:48

Yeah, Brixbi did a check.

Zak 1:25:52 

So Brixbi will saunter up with Kera and Vaargas, although, wait. Does me being their block Asher shot?

Jeff (as Asher) 1:26:02

Yes, entirely.

Zak 1:26:03

You know what…

Izzy 1:26:04 

Okay, so, I think unless someone stops her, Kera will take out her great sword and just kind of jab at it.

Sam 1:26:13 

She’s just…

Izzy (as Kera) 1:26:14

Are you awake?

Sam 1:26:15


Izzy (as Kera) 1:26:16

Do you want to be a friend?

Sam 1:26:17

Is she hitting it, or she just sort of nudging it?

Izzy 1:26:20 

It’s very much an experimental poking

Sam 1:26:25 

On contact, there’s a, you know, a metallic “ping”, and the eyes of this thing light up blue. And it makes the sort of standard Transformers “wop wop wop wop wop wop wop”, and it springs to life as an activated machine, which appears to be ready to strike. But I’m going to bed.

Izzy 1:26:49

Should’ve just hit it.

All Players 1:26:52

Goodnight, Sam!

*Outro Music* 1:26:53